Expensive London SHL - get what you pay for?

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I posted here a few weeks ago.

In a nutshell my husband left a few weeks ago having started an affair. Was out of the blue so was completely blindsided, especially as have very young children.

Now starting to think practically. I've spoken to a couple of local lawyers, one who I liked and was happy to use.

Then a friend (who's been through similar) recommended a very top London family lawyer who is double the hourly rate.

So I'm asking... Did you use an expensive London SHL and did you feel it was worth their high rates because you got a much better settlement?

My concern is that I'm not sure what they will be able to do which any decent, experienced family lawyer wouldn't achieve?

For the record, I would say would be described as 'well off' but not rich, this is not a high net worth case.

I haven’t (touch wood) had to investigate divorce lawyers but am a solicitor and have instructed lawyers both personally and professionally. Unfortunately I don’t think there is a completely clear answer and it can depend on circumstances. If the matter is not complicated you don’t need someone who is very skilled but generally you get what you pay for. However solicitors are the same as doctors - you get good one and bad ones however much you pay (and sadly there are some very bad ones out there). Sometimes it’s worth instructing expensive lawyers as it sends a message. Essentially of an intent to pursue and win. However that can be inflammatory and escalate the situation. I think the question is how antagonistic do you think your husband will be and how much of a fight. What approach is most likely to get you the best result? Personally I’d make an appointment with the expensive one and go and see them. See if you like them and their approach. Feel free to ask them to justify their prices. Sometimes it is just a case that London offices and salaries are expensive - sometimes it’s their expertise.

Oh and good luck. I hope you find the right person for you.

I woukdnt pay double for someone unless I was likely to end up with a great financial settlement.

A lot of divorce is paperwork and going through standard issues.

If your ex is likely to have loads of money hidden it may be worth looking into how to get to this, but most solicitors should be well able to deal.

When my husband got divorced he paid for both sides as his wife had no income. I dont think you need an expensive lawyer.

I would go for the expensive person if we were talking about huge sums of money being involved because they are more likely to know the tricks that the wealthy use to hide assets from ex spouses.

Thanks for your advice catanddog. I'm pretty sure this lawyer must be good to be in the position they're in in the firm they're in. Plus friend is very smart so trust their recommendation.

I think husband will put across what he thinks is fair and won't be antagonistic if I agree, I suppose that's always the case isn't it.

Is the case complicated... I don't know. But I do know that his earning capacity hugely outweighs mine and always will because of the sacrifices I've made to my career for our children, as well as my having a health condition that may prevent me ever getting going with a decent career again.

So I want the settlement to reflect that imbalance, I do need to ensure a good settlement for me and my kids, as I'm not naive, that he may end up having a child(ren) with new partner and forget his responsibilities to his current children.

I think I will see the SHL of only to get a different perspective at this stage, but would be interested in people's experiences to understand whether the higher fees are worth it in the end.

I don't think he's got money hidden, and if he did it wouldn't be a game changing amount. I'm pretty across our finances so I don't think this is a major issue.

I used a local lawyer for my divorce. Ex-H and I were pretty amicable. We took the dog for a walk and discussed an agreement. Sell the house, split the equity - enough to give us a small deposit each. 1 car each. I agreed to carry all the debts as I earn far more than he does and I could afford the monthly payments. We split pensions 50:50. I don’t ask for child maintenance and he didn’t ask for spousal maintenance. We split childcare pretty much 50:50.

If the two of you can come to a reasonable agreement you don’t need a SHL (but an ordinary lawyer is handy for the paperwork).

The danger in engaging a SHL is that it escalates the situation into being high conflict when it need not be. If SHL also means a rottweiler type, with a reputation for being aggressive and taking cases to court, you may end up with a HUGE bill.

The issue isn't you get what you pay for - the question is how do you want to divorce? And who is the right lawyer to help you achieve that?

Don't follow friend's advice blindly.

First question you ask this SHL is their estimate of what the divorce will cost. A good lawyer will be able to answer that.

Complex stuff like spousal maintenance, maintenance pending suit? Could be worth the extra.

I think my first approach would always be to see what he is thinking in terms of the split of assets, maybe he will be fair. But I do want to get advice from someone aggressive to make sure I don't capitulate and agree to less than I should get in my situation.

I guess the key thing here, is that I don't want to be divorced, I don't want our marriage to end. This is not a mutual, amicable situation. He has decided to leave his family and his responsibilities, so I want to make sure that we don't lose out as a result.

Please be aware that your husband is likely to offer 50/50 as a default and so you are unlikely to get your answer that way. He may also lie to you in the split.

Divorce is about you taking control. You must make your decisions for your children and that means independent advice. You will know your husbands character far better than any lawyer. You will know if he is stubborn, greedy or whatever. People do not often get better when getting divorced - so whatever your husbands personality flaw (and we all have them) then just imagine you will see more, much more of that behaviour or flaw and plan accordingly.

I don't think he would offer 50/50 as he's already insinuated it would be more than that, and he know I'm not stupid and won't accept that.

He's a more confident negotiator than me though and I expect will try and brow beat me in to an agreement. I suppose I need someone who's going to be a better negotiatir than him if it goes down that route.

*negotiator

My honest opinion as follows and from experience I know of —- SHL London is used to dealing with very high net worth individuals, they will look at likely assets and then think what their client can bear and milk it — a few thousand extra here and there is nothing to many— and if there is ‘a lot to play for’ then they may well get you a better deal, so if they cost say £18k but get you £40k more you may think it’s worth it—local mid range family lawyer, far more likely to be aware of costs racking up and charge reasonably accurately — and not base it so much on ‘what they think you can afford’

Wait and see who he chooses first? If he chooses a SHL from London it's a clue he means to be tough