Making time

[Dingdangdolly]

I’ve been seeing a lovely man for nine months now who I adore and love spending time with. I have two children as does he and his ex is very last minute with arrangements. The kids have only met a few times. Due to his work and children, I don’t get to see him as often as I’d like, usually a couple of times a week. I’m finding that I’m getting fed up with it but the last thing I want to do is end it. I know the answer in the short term is to build up my own life so that I’m not always available to him when it’s convenient but feel unsure how to go about this in my late thirties. It feels so difficult making new friends. Most of my friends now have teenage children, partners and are past the little kid stage so invitations to visit are few and far between.

Bump

If you're looking to build up your life/own interests, have you considered looking on Meetup? When my life was fairly empty I went on there and attended a few groups. It wasn't life changing but it gave me something to do, a new focus and got me out and about meeting people I wouldn't have otherwise come across.

I understand OP when others seem busy with their lives....

For me Work Times were good for my feeling of self sufficiency and a sense of independence....

How old are your kids at the moment?....I found in the later years, that as Teens the kids tend to go into their separate interests as they grew older, and so I would say enjoy time making shared memories with them as it moves so fast...

I look back on these days we had one on one time with great fondness, as they prepare to step into the world as adults on their own.

As suggested, meet-ups are great and if you can join a gym that will be a good first step too. I have made most of my friends through theatre groups. Many of them are just starting to fire up with covid calming down a bit so it might be a good idea to have a look what is locally. You don't have to be able to sing or dance, groups need tea makers, help backstage, costumes, lighting, front of house distributing programmes. I am afraid this arrangement with your boyfriend probably wont change in the near future so you need to build up new friends and hobbies and get out there. You might even find someone a bit more available to you....you never know!