Poetic OLD: get involved

[famousforwrongreason]

I wrote a rhyme during my insomnia time
It's not perfect and doesn't always scan.
I wanted to put something about fish and hi viz jackets but ran out of inspiration.
if anyone wants to join in please feel free to add or alter:

Guys on date sites, please take heed,
Your profile is dull when there's nothing to read
No face pic is a pointless exercise,
I want a treat,
A feast for my eyes

married guys, does your missus know?
I guess with no face pic,
the answer is no

When you do put on pics
you scribble on your ex,
You black out your kids,
You think that makes me hot for sex?

And how many selfies do you take when you pee?
Toilets aren't a thing of beauty,
I don't want to see

When you post a pic of you with your mates
It's a real let down
cos the one I fancy
Is always settled down

I know your aim is to get inside our pants
But I dry right up when you talk about bants

You filtered out the details on your face
It makes me sad,
I bet your real face is the best one that you have

And why have you got your tongue sticking out?
If you're not getting down to business,
stick it back in ya mouth

I don't wanna see your dick,
we never even met
It proves you're a creep tho,
so don't delete it yet

And guys who want 'no drama' or 'no psycho bitches'
I'm not being funny,
There's bound to be a court injunction
Or you owe her loadsamoney

I think I should keep these thoughts a secret,
cos if you change anything
we might mistake you for someone decent

I saw this gem in tinder this morning :

Professional and generous guy loving life and not looking to find a totally messed up complicated girl with so much baggage she could be nicknamed Gatwick....

I wish I'd saved all the dreadful profiles I've read!

@SoulofanAggron

Great stuff, sisters!

@famousforwrongreason Yes,and if you think of sex, even the most basic things (as I said in another thread the other day) are kind of chores. Expected, and so we do hand jobs, BJs etc when we're not always in the mood, or we do it for longer or more intensely than we want to. So in an ideal world I'd get out of even these basic things when I don't want to do them- that should be ok. We shouldn't feel any pressure/obligation to do things we don't want to do. I admire women who don't like giving oral and so just tell men they won't. I might be ok doing it sometimes, but not for 45 mins or something as my ex used to demand. Of course, this might change if I were to meet the ideal guy.

Blissful, alone, with my magic wand toy
I wonder why I ever touched a boy?
The world has moved on
This tech is a wonder
A magickal tool
So I needn't get under
Another fuckwit
And end up conned
I'd rather be cream tea-ed than cream pied
And with my mum ab-scone-d.

???

Haha! Now I'm not sure if I fancy a cream tea or something more vibratey. I've never tried a magic wand, the lead put me off, but I do like the womaniser, can be slightly brutal if you overdo it but it's outrageous if you get the tempo right.