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Relationships

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Original poster

When did you/your partner say 'I love you'?

52 replies

missbunnyrabbit · 24/08/2020 23:27

Just wondered how soon into your relationship/going out with someone that one of you said the magic three words.

Feel like my experience with this is very skewed, two guys who've said it to me both said it after about two weeks of going out with me nearly every day.

How about you?

OP posts:

MaidenMotherCrone · 25/08/2020 08:58

6 days . 6 years later still loved up.

Original poster

missbunnyrabbit · 25/08/2020 10:05

@Happyspud

2 years! He was 34 and had never said it to any previous gf so had it in his head as a very big deal. I'd have said it after 1 month but stubbornly waited for him to say it.

Ahh happyspud, it's the same to my boyfriend I think, A Very Big Deal. I worry that he'll panic if I say it first.

OP posts:

NotaCoolMum · 25/08/2020 18:59

@Daisydoesnt that’s lovely!! I probably should have specified that it’s not ALWAYS a red flag but I believe in most cases it is 💐💐

Crumpets4butter · 25/08/2020 19:09

I said it first on a night out about 6 weeks after we met. That was nearly 8 years ago and I don't love him anymore, but that's another story.

ConcreteUnderpants · 25/08/2020 19:27

3 months, but felt it after a month.
We still say to each other at least once a day and it never loses its ability to make me feel amazing.

Ardnassa · 25/08/2020 19:34

It has varied. DH and I said it about 3 months in (but I had realised it about 2 weeks previously and he had felt it about a month beforehand). I said it first at a very romantic moment when it felt right.

But previous relationships: 2 at around the 2 week mark (both were very intense men. I did not reciprocate at all in one instance, and only much later in the other), 2 after a couple of months (mutual), 1 we never did and broke up after a year - when it occurred to me that I had never said it because I didn't feel that way about him!

Ardnassa · 25/08/2020 19:36

Been together 8 years (married 2) and we say it to each other at least once/twice a week, at odd times. Because it feels lovely to say and hear it and is nice to let the other person know (it works for us, anyway).

SimonJT · 25/08/2020 19:43

Four months, although earlier than that I accidentally said “omg I love you” when I was meant to say something like “omg I love that too” but my inner thoughts tumbled out of my mouth. So I very awkwardly took it back and explained that I wasn’t in love with him

ExtremelyBoldSquirrels · 25/08/2020 20:11

After about 3 weeks. He’d been dancing around it (in obvious ways) so I just said it. He responded with a ‘really? I love you too’ (as if he hadn’t been basically telling me that for days).

Both of us knew we’d be together from the first date. I remember sitting waiting for him to arrive and realising that, if I actually fancied him, I’d probably fall in love with him. (Non-Spoiler: I definitely did). He said that he knew the first time we kissed that he was totally sure and knew he didn’t want to mess it up.

@wishfuldreamer I was with my ex for over 10 years and he never said it. I too have experienced weird responses like ‘thanks’. In fact, I’m pretty sure he never loved me at all. He told me once (towards the end) that he didn’t think he could actually love anyone (in a romantic/relationship sense). Why on earth did I put up with that for a decade? DH is warm and loving - it makes a big difference to actually feel loved.

Whathewhatnow · 25/08/2020 20:23

With my 2nd-but-one ex, 3 months. The strong feelings were not actually there...

Ex before that, 4.weeks. the feelings were definitely there.

Immediate ex, about 3 weeks but we had known each other for a long time before that. I meant it absolutely. He didn't.

In future if I meet anyone, if I dont feel it even a little bit after 4-6 weeks, I will be out of there.

Love can have so many meanings. But in my experience for a truly meaningful, lasting relationship you need the love/obsession/sexual connection from early on otherwise you are doomed.

MrsGrindah · 25/08/2020 20:30

2 weeks . He said “ You do know I love you and we are getting married don’t you?”

22 years this Nov.

FizzyPink · 25/08/2020 20:42

After about 5 months. I really don’t believe you can feel love in a matter of weeks, surely that’s lust.

For those of you who have been waiting years, does it not upset you?

wishfuldreamer · 25/08/2020 22:33

@ExtremelyBoldSquirrels (great username btw) - I don’t know that my ex didn’t love me...he definitely thinks he did, and became much more demonstrative when we split. I think part of it was that we had very different love languages, but even his language wasn’t very clear. I think he was very scared of revealing how he ever really felt, but by the end I just felt totally unloved and unwanted.

As with new, all partners since have been much more obviously affectionate and I’m so much happier for it. Current partner is so wonderful it makes me melt a little bit. But a huge part of it is that we have great synchronicity in our communication styles. It really, really helps.

tigerbear · 25/08/2020 22:39

On the 5th date, which took place in Marrakech! I said it first, and he told me he loved me too.
We now been together 2.5 years, and getting married next year.

OhTheRoses · 25/08/2020 22:45

Oh you can turnedouttoes. Can't explain it but I knew the night I met DH he was the one and vice versa.

WombOfOnesOwn · 26/08/2020 07:09

A week. Now 8 years in, 3rd baby due soon.

Happyspud · 26/08/2020 07:34

@Turnedouttoes, it was annoying but all his actions told me he loved me so I didn't overthink it. The lust was unreal and the attraction was instant. The relationship was good and solid. The 'i love you' was just words.

Under other circumstances it might have been a red flag.

Imissmoominmama · 26/08/2020 07:45

Two weeks. We were engaged after 6 months and married a year after meeting. That was 23 years ago. We now have two children, as well as him being the most fantastic step dad to my eldest.

McPie · 26/08/2020 08:48

6 days after we met he told me he thought he loved me, we are still together 23 years and 3 kids later.

FluffyTRex · 26/08/2020 08:58

Just under 2 months in. We were supposed to be "casual" (though exclusive), but from the very first time we met it felt like more than that. We were lying in bed and he said it. I panicked and said "no you don't". He said he did, but didn't push it. Went home not long after that. The next day, having thought about it constantly, I texted him and asked him to say it again. He did, and I said it back. We tell each other most days now.
It was weird for me because I'm usually the first one to say it, but it felt right eventually!

Themadcatparade · 26/08/2020 09:23

2 month since we met he said it... three week since we were officially together. Really quick!

I’m usually one to take things Fairly slow (6 months before it has slipped out previously?) but I couldn’t deny that I didn’t feel the same. I held off a week until I finally said it back.

Two years later we still say it every day, with meaning and it’s lovely.

Themadcatparade · 26/08/2020 09:24

*couldnt deny that I did feel the same that should have read

happymummy12345 · 26/08/2020 11:24

9 days after becoming official.
But our whole relationship was extremely quick but it worked:

I first met my husband end of April 2014, we became a couple 9th may 2014. We decided to start trying for a baby in July 2014, we moved in together in October 2014, I got pregnant in November 204, we found out I was pregnant 19th December 2014. We got engaged 13th January 2015, and got married 9th April 2015. Baby was due 30th August 2015, was actually born on 5th September 2015.
So we had been together exactly 11 months the day we got married. I know it's very quick, being married and expecting a baby within less than a year of being together, but it worked for us. We had discussed marriage and both agreed it was what we wanted, but we weren't officially engaged. But we knew it was important to us to be married before the baby was born, so we made sure we were. It was perfect.
I'd just turned 21 when we met, he was 29. I was a student and he worked full time but we still made it work, and couldn't be happier.

Spudlet · 26/08/2020 11:29

It was a couple of months in, I think. I’d stayed at his overnight and woken up with my period and awful cramps. He was giving me a hug while I steeled myself for the drive to work and he said ‘I don’t know if it’s the right time to say this, but I love you’. I didn’t mind having cramps half so much on the drive after that

We’ve been together for 9 years, married for 6. We still say it to each other just about every day.

ghostmous3 · 26/08/2020 19:47

I loved him before I had my first date with him

But I'd known him for about 18 months from work but had seen him around for the past 20 years in previous jobs although only by sight.

I fell in love with him because he was so so lovely and single and I think he liked me too in his own way. I never told a soul and he never twigged.

I told him about a month after we were going out and it freaked him out a bit and never said it back just told me he cared for me. He said it by text 2 weeks later.

He tells me all the time now..more than me. Been together 2 years

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