Why it happens way too often?

[MyName007]

Yet another couple I know separated just a year after getting married, but having been in a relationship for over 10 years beforehand and having 2 kids. This is happening way too often. Why is it happening? Is marriage a last attempt to save a relationship or people turn suddenly nasty after getting married. It is sad and I don't understand it.

This happened to me, we were friends for a while then got together and married 5 years into our relationship (so not as long as some). Our marriage was dead in the water after 10 months but we limped along for 2 years before calling it a day. For me it wasnt that marriage was a last ditch attempt, I realised pretty quickly into arranging a wedding that I didnt want to get married, at that point I still wanted to be with him. Eventually spoke to him and we reached the decision it was nerves, fear, stress of planning so I pushed forward and went along with it, knowing if I didnt it would mean the end of us as he wouldnt of forgiven me and I did love him and want to be with him very much. As soon as I got married something changed. I felt like I was suffocating, people say it doesnt change anything but for me it did. It highlighted how different we were, what different paths we were on and ultimately it spelt the end of our relationship.

I've definitely had a 'let's get married' discussion as an attempt to save a failing relationship. Luckily we both saw sense and split up instead because I'm 100% sure that if we had got married it would have ended in divorce.

This happened to my sister. They were together 15 years, were thinking of splitting as the relationship wasn’t going anywhere but instead decided spending £50k on a big wedding was the way to go instead

Needless to say it didn’t work!

I've seen this a lot too. Also for those already married there's the "renewal of vows" 😁

People seem to think marriage is an optional upgrade after they've spent years together and had children; if it was more about commitment to building a life together and less about a big party, it would last longer.

“Is marriage a last attempt to save a relationship or people turn suddenly nasty after getting married.”

It’s almost invariably the former. Sometimes people feel it is expected of them, so it somehow seems easier to go through with the wedding and hope things will miraculously come good than to call it off.

Even now, there is quite a lot of social pressure on long-term couples to “tie the knot”, particularly if they’re of child-bearing age, so sometimes people feel pushed into it by others’ expectations.

I know a couple of people who got married because they had been with their partners for so long and couldn’t quite see their way to ending the relationship. In both cases, the marriages ended within a year.