Can't decide whether to seperate, please help!

[UserNameChange20]

I feel so anxious. I think that I need to leave DH. We've been together 10 years, married 8. No children. We're both 35. It's something that, if I'm honest, I've been thinking for a while. I go through phases where sometimes it's worse than others but I've passed a point where I feel like the unknown of what life would be like after divorcing is LESS scary than the thought of staying married.

I'm so scared I will regret my decision though. I have a very hard time making decisions in life in general. DH is not perfect but he is not awful either, he is just trying to do what he thinks is best. I don't want to hurt him but I'm miserable, anxious, can't sleep, feel like a bird trapped in a cage and so lonely.

I would love to hear if you're divorced, how you find your life now, are you happier? Glad that you did it? Or do you regret it?

It’s such a big step to take. You only have one life, and if it pains you to think it’s with him then you know. I’m divorced. It wasn’t a particularly messy divorce but getting to the ‘we need to talk’ conversation was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. Time heals. From your post it sounds like you are having a truly miserable time. There are plenty of people on here to support you. X

I can relate. I'm in almost exactly the same situation although a few years older. I'm so scared... but I know if I do nothing then I will remain in this situation for the rest of my life. (I'm male btw)

I dont want to hurt my wife, but I dont want to live a life of misery. She knows it, but doesnt want to say anything.

How is your communication?

I've passed a point where I feel like the unknown of what life would be like after divorcing is LESS scary than the thought of staying married.

Your existing. You can excuse this with kids.
If you have no ties well, sit down and talk.

Out of interest, why have you had no children?

I remember posting a similar question 6 years ago. I spent a good couple of years trying to work out what I wanted and just couldn’t see it because I was too close to the situation. I remember someone responding by saying that it seemed as if I didn’t even like or respect my husband and they were right. We separated a while after and making the decision was incredibly hard but once it was done I was filled with relief and I was (and still am) much happier, although must admit I had a few wobbles at first. For me I thought about whether I would want to look back when much older, still miserable and wish I had left earlier and been happy.
It is a huge decision and one only you can make but for me it was the right one. Good luck and be happy

I’m recently separated and have no children either. Ending my marriage was a heart breaking process even though it was doomed from the start.

I have so many regrets and I still care about my ex but none of my regrets include leaving it or ending it. It takes time OP and YOU need to be sure. You need to know you explored it fully and didn’t panic-end it or be rash. You also need to communicate with your H. Nope, not easy but you can go around & around for many many years otherwise. Good luck

I don't know all your circumstances, but I ended my marriage yesterday. We have only been married a year and I should have never gone through with it.

I have felt just like you said, trapped in a cage watching my life go past, living it for other people. I really struggle to put myself first, maybe you are like that too?

It's early days and I can't lie I am scared. But I am hopeful for better days ahead. I think if you feel like this, you should leave.
Like you said, it starts to feel scarier to think about staying and what life would be like 5, 10 years in the future.
Good luck x