First time serious post on here although always lurking and finding a great deal of support from this site. Will try and keep it brief. Really had enough of my relationship with partner of 28 yrs. have 3 kids - 22, 20 and 15. Want to leave but feel I need to wait til youngest out of secondary at least. This will be next sept 21. Don't love him anymore, not sure I ever did tbh. I'm having counselling which came about from my youngest hating school. Partner works away Monday-fri but since covid working from home. Feeling like I've had a massive light bulb moment since counselling. Why the hell did I stay with this man? But that's due to low self esteem I've now realised and insecurities. I think partner is on spectrum along with my youngest (having trouble at school). Socially inept. I don't feel anything for my partner physically or emotionally. He just gets on my nerves. He is very competitive and self centred. We do not have a sexual relationship any more. My partner owns house we live in, I'm not on mortgage. I'm worried about my future. I've mentioned I want to leave albeit when I've had some wine but I feel he knows what the score is but refuses to face up to it. I know he's not happy. He never deals with any issues, either goes really quiet on me or blows up. I'm lost and looking for kind words.