Noisy neighbour - advice needed

[TheStepfordChav]

We live in a semi. Don't normally hear much noise from next door, not the TV, BUT when he watches a DVD we can feel it, as well as hear it. It's like when you're at a concert, and you can feel it in your stomach. It's the bass. I'm friends with his DP, and asked her to have a word with him. Apparently he 'hit the roof' and doesn't see why he should turn it down, so DH asked him, and he said he can't turn it down, which is bolleaux because a friend has the same system and says the bass can be turned down.

My DH is getting well stressed about this; it kept us awake for an hour last night. What would you do?

Contact environmental health at your local authority. Can you record the noise? You may need to keep a diary of when and how long, etc.

Invite him round to hear the noise? Be polite but firm. He is selfish.

It's more the vibration which you can feel (ooh-er!) rather than incredibly loud noise, so not sure if recording it would be any good. I will keep a note of the times, though. Good idea.

I had to restrain DH from going round there at midnight and thumping on door. I am dreading this turning into a major incident. Otherwise, DH wants to play music really loud, but that seems another way to cue major incident.

Need diplomatic solution!

In a former life - pre-children - I had really noisy neighbours upstairs. They played their (crap) music really loud all the time.

So we instigated a 'battle of the flats' type thing and cranked our (ultra-cool, obviously) music up full volume, inc bass.

It did work. But obviously not a diplomatic solution!

I sometimes get a great sense of nostalgia for my former life...

Look up noise nuisance on your local authority website for who will have lots of information on this and what you can do. Keep a note of all the times he's done it plus all the times you have made the effort to communicate that it is disturbing you.

The council can do something about intrusive noise which it sounds like this is. It's probably worth having another go asking him to turn it down when he's actually doing it though. Rather than being kept awake go round and ring his bell and tell him it's bothering you. The only thing is you need to be quite calm and not angry so he doesn't get defensive.

It's awful getting disturbed by other people's noise like this particularly bass noise which is the worst kind.

Fio - absolutely 100% agree; would rather keep the peace.

It can be weeks without them watching a DVD, but has been three nights this week (OK tonight so far). I would put up with it for the sake of not falling out, but it is getting to DH, I can see him getting wound up about it.

The trouble with him is that although under normal circs we get on fine, he is one of those who's never heard of give & take. If it was me, I would be horrified if I thought I was bothering someone, but he obviously only cares about his own enjoyment. They have their TV on really loud (it's one of the cinema-screen ones) so it's lucky for us that we don't hear that.

Could you find out about sound proofing your walls? I have a friend who lived next to very very noisy neighbours who were up all hours and it was his only solution. You can pay a fortune for someone to do it for you or you can DIY. Even if it only muffles the problem, it will be reduced.

It's a thought. Will it deaden the vibrations?

Hassle though. It would be sooo much better if we could only make him see reason. If I let his tyres down, d'you think he'd get the message?? (I wouldn't have the nerve!)

Barefoot - sorry I missed your post earlier. You are right. We must risk another - calm - confrontation & invite him round. Thanks.

Thanks to all for advice. I remembered today that they have asked us to do them a favour at Christmas, so I will tell her that we won't feel disposed to help out if the bass is keeping us awake at nights. Good plan, eh?