Constant dating rejection

[Nolooker]

I am always the one who gets rejected when I date . Whether that be online or not . I don’t particularly think I do anything wrong . I’m not trying to hard and I take care of myself .
I had a crush on a guy who I liked for two years at work we went for a drink then he said he didn’t want a relationship ,but I’ve just seen him on a dating site. I try not to dwell but I feel so foolish .

I never seem to be the chosen one . I’m never the one that the men want . It’s always someone else . It seems to fall into place for others , but not me . I’m so sad, I feel so worthless .

I just don’t know how to cope anymore , I’ve had relationships in the past but I feel demoralised .

Should I give up?

Try to reframe it as not being a good fit rather that rejection. These people don't know you enough to reject you.

And about that guy - why happened in the two years you had a crush on him? See if someone is on a dating site they may still not want a relationship, they might just be looking for casual sex. Or just seeing what's out there. I think most people on dating sites are not actually actively looking for a relationship, they do want one at some point in the future with some unknown person, but not right now.

It's not you.

Don’t give up. I used to be like you.

Maybe try to read some self-help books on dating and relationships. They gave me ideas on how to reevaluate what I was doing with potential suitors / dates (I was being rejected constantly, so I had nothing to lose).

I’m much more confident now (and I am well into middle age). I don’t get as many knockbacks - in fact, almost none. And, in case you are thinking I am very pretty.... I am not particularly attractive and I have a physical disability.

I now feel more comfortable in myself and I think my stronger sense of self/ lack of neediness must make me more attractive/intriguing.

And because I like myself more I look after myself better and make healthier life choices: physically, mentally, emotionally.

Try googling some dating influencers for free content and popular books 😊

By ‘don’t give up’, I mean: Don’t give up on yourself; don’t give up on the idea that to deserve to be loved and desired.

It’s okay to take a break to recharge though - to focus on saving your energy for just you and your friends and family for a while.