So fed up, finally getting shut if him.

[NopeNotToday5]

So iv been in 2 relationships first one was abusive, controlling, him cheating on me but always accused me of cheating. Lasted 2 years. Met someone casually that I ended because I found out he was in a relationship and had a young baby with her.
I was on my own for a year or so (it was great) then I met my now fiance. We have a child, been together for neally 4 years.

Sex life decreased alot since he started a new job last year, discussed it and he said he wasnt in the mood has much, reasurrerd me it wasn't me blah blah blah. Got engaged In january. Anyway I got suspicious and found out a few months (just before lockdown) ago that he was on dating sites and a casual sex site, taking pics of his dick to put on the site, Said he did it because he has low self esteem and wanted attention.

I told him to leave when I found out but he then started saying he was going to kill him self and like I fool I told him I forgive him and to work it out. I realise this is manipulation and I'm a fool.

I haven't got passed it I will never forgive him I've tried but no way I don't want to be a mug anymore, I am a very loyal person and this to me is cheating, its really hurt me and who knows what else he's done while I trusted him.

I've not told anyone in real life yet. I just wanted to chat about it. I will tell him to leave soon because trust has completely gone I'm always thinking what's he upto on the phone/tablet ect...

I can see myself never trusting someone ever again. Feel like I will not meet anyone who doesn't want to shag about and the feeling that I am not enough hurts. I just feel like shit and needed a rant to get it off my chest. I'm sick of pretending everything is OK. I'll tell friends/family once he's gone. I've waited this long because I wanted to save has much has possible. I'll be fine money wise and childcare ect...

So planning on doing it when my son is at nursery and not with us because I don't want to argue in front of him. He's having his settling in sessions at the moment.

He's not just going to accept it and leave I know that. What do I say/do when he threatens to kill himself? Phone ambulance/police?

Thanks for reading about my soon to be disrespectful dick head ex.

What would you do if a work colleague threatened to kill themselves?

Do exactly what you would do in those circumstances. If you are not sure, you can dial 999 and tell the operator what is happening and they will put you through to the relevant authority.

Look the rest of your lovely life is waiting for you. Stop wasting it on a man who doesn't give a shit. It isn't because of you, it is because of him. He is defective emotionally and sexually, perhaps because of too much porn or perhaps because he is somewhat dead inside. It doesn't actually matter why he is defective but it matters that you get away from the effect of that defect on your life and wellbeing. It isn't attention he is after, it is fucking someone else who isn't you, that he is after. A relationship will never be enough for him, not now. He needs that extra thrill.

He threatens suicide because he doesn't want to be rejected, not because he is remorseful. If you take him back that means to him that what he has done is OK because you have accepted it. But you know that, don't you?

And start telling EVERYONE what he has done. So many women make the mistake of covering up their fuckwit OH's behaviour for them as if it is their shameful secret as well. It really, really isn't. You didn't cause this and you have nothing at all to be ashamed of. Tell everyone, and let the sunlight and clean air in on all the furtive, festering pretence. Then things will become clear to you.

I am hoping that you are living in your own house rather than a shared property?

If its your house, or rented in your name, get the locks changed, meet somewhere for coffee and tell him then. Have his stuff packed and arrange a drop off point. Do not let him in the house. Block him everywhere, especially phone, and if he somehow gets the message to you he intends to kill himself, give him the number of Samaritans. He's just manipulating you.

Thanks for your replies.
Yes we do live together but it's my name on the tenancy agreement.
I would like to block him but we have a child together so can't cut contact for good. But I will block him if he starts been a dick with me over messages.
Yes I know he thinks I think that what he's done is ok because iv taken him back like a fool. He's most likely still doing it now but covering his tracks more carefully.
I will tell people they will be so shocked because they'd never think he would do this to to me, neither did I.

You're doing the right thing. I often wonder who these women are that find dick pics attractive..or do men just and they will. Urrgh

I think men just think we want to see them they just can't help themselves.
Idiots.

I'm tempted to end the relationship today but that means my little boy will be here,
Or wait till Thursday when he's at nursery?

I'm just fed up I want him out. The dick head is in bed still so I could pack most of his things that aren't in the bedroom then wake him up and tell him. I feel so anxious about it all I wish I could tell him and he'll leave with no arguments.