It's not worth dating, especially when you are a LP.

[MeatballSpaghetti]

It's just not. OLD and IRL.

Too many creeps. Too many men wanting you to fit in with their lifestyle/hobbies and lose your sense of self. Too many men wanting a wifey and a warm bed. Too many men obsessed with PornHub/selfish lovers. Too many men thinking you are after a replacement father. Too many men thinking you're desperate and lonely. Too many men initimated because you are more successful than them. Too many men thinking you are damaged goods. Too many men who are narcs/abusers. Too many men not realising you have DC to care for and are unappreciative of the time you allocate them. Too many men 'crumbing' and 'ghosting' /lacking integrity.

The list goes on....

If I've missed anything out, please share.

This is not to say there are not any nice men out there. Dating just seems like too much hard work. And might I add, I've done a lot of work on myself. So not for one minute do I feel I'm sorely lacking as a potential partner. Am happy to remain single for the forseeable.

I find most dating sites full of boring men who cant hold a conversation tbh

I've deleted my bumble account.

Had a very similar chat with a friend today.
We are both lp. She has had lots of dates (via old) in the past 2 years. She has had a lot of weird experiences and it's done nothing for her self worth.
I signed up for a site recently, got 3 messages in 5 minutes without putting a picture of myself up.
First message.. Sex?
Second message.. Coming mine tonight?
Third message didn't get read as I deleted the app!!

I would love to have some days / nights out with a decent guy who makes me laugh and genuinely cares but I can't see that happening. My kids need my attention and I'm not someones mouse to play with when bored.

Oh gawd, this is depressing.
I joined Tinder and chickened out of swapping numbers.
I can't even imagine meeting someone new in a friendship capacity and hoping to take our time finding our way into a relationship. My DC are still far too young for me to divvy up my time that way. I have.

I idea have no idea when I'll attempt OLD again. I do know I'd love to go out for drinks with an adult I do not share DNA with once in a while. Some mutual attraction and decent flirting would fun too.

Eh? Absolutely not my experience. I have met about ten men online dating - had relationships with two of them, brief flings with a couple more. A couple were a bit dull, but absolutely not the horror show you describe.

I used to be put off online dating by threads like these, but once I tried it I have found it to be fine.

I am in my late 40s and am meeting men around the same age, if that’s relevant.

I agree op. Its just not worth the risk.

I have to say that's not been my experience either. Initially I used OLD as an ego boost after ex left for ow and had about a year of casual dates, some great some boring but never awful. Then I met a guy who I'm still with 4 years hence BUT neither of us are interested in blended families, blended finances or step parenting. Its the kind of relationship that some on here dismiss as not serious or 'just a boyfriend not a partner' but it works for us. On our rare kid free time we go away for long weekends, he comes to mine in the evening a couple if times a week but rarely stays over. He's wonderful in a crisis, loves to 'help' or 'fix' things (I hate tech especially so he sorts out DS x box) and we have a great time. I'm not going to say he's the love of my life or that it compares to the romances I had in my 20s and 30s but it works for us. Erring someone 'organically' is also hard as a LP as opportunity to socialise is limited so this OLD can be a good option.

It's nice to hear positive OLD stories, though I believe these are in the minority.

I'm not happy to be with a man who wants me to validate his existence - adopt his lifestyle, personality, obey, be less, etc. I'm also not happy to be with a man who thinks I need him to validate my existence - DIY, playing daddy, ego boost, etc. Wannabe cocklodgers... that's whole other story!

And the thing is I miss sex and companionship. Though as I'm my own best friend, I'm not wanting for settle for the above in a partner, so am willing to wait for a few more years. Just not worth the risk!

I think online dating has had it's day to be honest. 15 years ago, it was a novelty and it was succssful for many people.