Did you meet someone after feeling like you never would?

[User2738]

I have given up meeting someone. Things haven’t worked out with various people for different reasons. I can’t even face dating like I used to.

I’m sad about it because I’d love a relationship and to share life with someone. But this time I’ve really given up. In the back of my mind I still have the hope and wish but I can’t find myself taking any action to meet someone like I used to. I just feel defeated.

Me too. I was absolutely never ever ever going to meet another man after divorcing 4 years ago. I was very happy alone and completely at peace with it. My colleagues badgered me to sign up to Plenty of fish so a bored day at work I did, it was about as depressing as I thought, was going to delete the app once home. However that same night I got a message from a man who looked decent. Met up with him a week later - been together 3 years now & got married in February! Love him to bits but he was a big surprise!

I always think hmm when I read threads like this as there are a lot of single men out there who are feeling the same.
I can think of several men pushing 40 that I know who just want to meet the right women and have a family.
Just yesterday DS2(37) was lamenting the fact that he has been unable to meet someone before he lost his hair!!
I know its easier for men (no biological clock) but many are fed up with internet dating, and feel that meeting someone "organically" is unlikely

hi - I was single for several years - had lots of on and off/ crap flings in that time but never real love - then I met my absolute soul mate.

What worked for me was two things - firstly - I had some therapy and really looked deeply at why my relationship patterns were unhealthy - it was life changing.

secondly I focused on being positive generally and meeting new PEOPLE not necessarily dating - so I just thought well if I expand my social circle and meet a lot of new people in the end I'll be more likely to meet a man I like. And that worked.

@MozzchopsThirty

Absolutely!

I had given up, terrible marriage, failed relationships, awful OLD
So I got a cat
Then a gorgeous man moved in next door, I just shagged him because he was hot, 2 years later we're still together.

He is an amazing man, confident in himself enough to tell me & everyone else how much he loves me, how proud he is to be with me, how amazing I am, how intelligent I am etc. He spoils me, but is no pushover, he's kind and funny and great with my kids
I adore him, and I can't ever imagine life with anyone else

Trust me, he will arrive when you least expect it

I can't imagine anyone ever saying anything that nice about me

Lucky you. I need to sort my self esteem out cos the half arsed "relationship" I have is nowhere near that and that's what I want.

Well done all who manage this especially later in life

@peppermintteadrinker trust me I never had this before, all my exes were toxic!
Enjoyed making me feel small, worthless, like they were doing me a favour

This guy is hot, women adore him but he loves me and shows it.

I've been single 25 years apart from a brief LDR 10 years ago. Tried OLD, but I was no better at catching anyone's eye there than I am in real life.

There's a lot of competition out there and I can't see why anyone would 'pick me' now when they haven't before, so I'm pretty resigned to remaining single now. Thank heaven for female friends.

@shatnerswig so pleased for you, as one fed-up single to another - wishing you every happiness!

@SweatyBetty20 I love your post, thank you. I'm single aged 40 after 9 years. I'm staying in my home too and focusing on hobbies.

@Windmillwhirl i love your post about how you describe yourself. That's me too though for a long time I saw flaws in myself when actually those are imagined. I too am a good person, kind, funny and positive, what's not to like!

I did. I uad a terrible time with men, and decided to just remain single.

I met my husband a year or so after that, by chance.

Yes I got through uni having no serious relationship. Id never met anyone at home but everyone had said youll meet someone at uni. I felt cheated and like a freak. Then I went to volunteer at a girl guide center and met a scout.

I have!

Was in an abusive relationship a couple of year back. I landed to leave for months after I finally clicked he was playing mind games on purpose - sought counselling to guide me through and help me plan to leave. Horrible time. During this 6 months I had slowly got in the mental place getting used to the fact I wanted to be single and free, probably for the first time since before I started ever dating. I was planning my own home, where I wanted to be in life. I knew I wanted another child at some point too and even researched whether single parenting via donor was a possibility. I was looking forward to being single and having freedom soo much and vowed to not purposely go seeking or dating for the next few years at least. I even took up a celibacy vow

Then out of nowhere BOOM, my best friend came along. He was in the same place top gotten out of a hard marriage and was finally happy with his independent single life. And we fell hard for each other. It all started through Instagram of all places! Magical things happen when you make peace with yourself OP, I truly believe more solid relationships come out of it when you aren’t seeking - because you get in to the place where you know you will absolutely not settle for less than you deserve as you are too happy being your own person and it will take someone truly special to break that. Fortunately for him (and myself!) he was someone who 100% added to my life, rather than inhibited it after all I had previously was people who stole from me.

@ShatnersWig oooh lovely :)