Leaving a toxic relationship

[Positivevibes451]

Hi there,

I'm relatively new to the Mumsnet community so I apologise if I'm not quite getting this right.

I'm currently mum to a beautiful toddler but I'm in a very toxic relationship. In short, we've been together for almost ten years but since we've had our daughter, our frequent rows and nasty behaviour towards one another, I just can't tolerate.

It will take at least a few months for me to be able to be financially secure enough to leave him. He's a pretty difficult person to live with but knows I'm unhappy and planning to leave.

For an easy life do I pretend I'm open to working it out or tell him I'm leaving in a few months and prepare for a miserable 9 months?

Neither option sounds great. Is it possible he could be violent if he knows you are leaving?. The safety of your child and yourself is the most important thing.

Have you family that could help you out financially so you can leave now?

Are you open to working it out or is that just something you'd tell him?

Definitely wouldn't tell him you're planning to leave that could only make the situation worse, as poster said above he could turn violent but even if he doesn't (because not all men do!) it would be a miserable and awkward few months for you to all live together waiting for the day you're able to leave. Not a nice environment for you or your toddler.

I'd either ask family or friends if they could help you out or keep quiet about your decision to leave until you're actually able to.

UNLESS "nasty behaviour" means violence. If there is violence towards you or your child get out there immediately. Is there a friend or family members you could stay at?