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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Having second child with partner I no longer think I love

8 replies

LittleTwiglet · 22/08/2020 17:07

so basically I'm pregnant with my second child with my partner, however I having serious doubts about my love for him. We argue a lot, over nothing mostly, i also think he still has a lot of growing up to do in terms of putting us,as his family, first, instead of seeing friends/playing video games/television.

Does anyone have any advice or anything really?
I've just been doubting this pregnancy a lot too because of these issues, but I do want another, not only for me but because it would be nice for DD to have someone too.

OP posts:
perfumeistooexpensive · 22/08/2020 17:12

I did. I never regretted it because when the split came seven years later the DC had one another and settled well into their new life.

Seriouslynotagain · 22/08/2020 18:54

I did too. He drank heavily throughout pregnancy up to and including day of birth. I knew he was no good. I am sat here opposite our 3 year old with our 11 year old inside and currently processing a difficult break up (due to him being even more of a cock than before) but I do not regret these children of ours. None of this is ideal and not what I wanted but I have these extraordinary kids and my mental health just about intact. I can work with the latter though! You will be ok

Oly4 · 22/08/2020 18:56

I’ve never been in this situation but if it were me I’d continue with the pregnant to give my DC a sibling and complete my family. You won’t regret your children, just the silly man you had them with. Have the baby, see how it goes and then vow to leave him if he doesn’t grow up

LittleTwiglet · 22/08/2020 19:11

Thank you all, it helps to hear that others have felt the same or view it the way you do. You have no idea what it means to hear the support, especially with the pregnancy hormones!

OP posts:
SoulofanAggron · 22/08/2020 19:17

You will probably have to keep in touch with him as he will want to see your DD, so in that respect it won't be any different.

How old is your DD?

LittleTwiglet · 22/08/2020 19:22

She is a year and half now, so still small, and the new one not due until next year

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MakeItRain · 23/08/2020 01:32

It's pretty tough splitting when you have two and they're young. But I'm a fair few years down the line now and I love having two, and I also love the fact that they have each other, especially when they spend time with their dad. I don't regret for a minute having two, although like you, I realised my marriage was in massive trouble during my second pregnancy. (I didn't quite realise how terrible things would get, but that's another story, and thankfully pretty much behind us now.)

LittleTwiglet · 23/08/2020 08:39

I think some of it is the thought of raising 2 young children and having him to contend with, but i suppose its a case of, I've done it before with one so can it really be that different with 2?

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