Reassurance

[Littlemiss81]

I'm in a really difficult place emotionally and mentally and the thoughts of running away are becoming more frequent, the urge to do it is out weighing the reasons not to.
I'm a mother of 4 children, 3 with my ex husband of 16yrs and then a little one who was an accident but truly amazing, however its come at a price and I'm scared, really scared that these awful feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, worthlessness are going to consume, I'm frightened 😔

Book an emergency doctor's appointment - you need support urgently, today, both for you and your kids. Book it, and be absolutely honest. Don't downplay how you feel

I've been to my GP, I'm on medication, I'm a switched on cookie, I like to think I'm pretty rational but I'm under immense stress from both ex partners...... my parents have taken guardianship of my 3rd child, aged 6 to protect me from my ex husband.... this has been incredibly emotional and I can't describe the feeling of failure, my 13yr old is under social care due to my marriage failure, I'm trying to hold down a job, run my home, start my own buisness, I can't tell anyone around me through fear they will worry, there is so many balls in the air.
My youngest daughters father told me I was a drain, i make excuses for feeling the way i do, that i need to pull myself together, only I can fix it, I can't look to anyone else..... I don't want anyone else to fix it, I just want to feel I'm in a place where I can manage and not feel like I'm messing it all up. I am genuinely fearful that this will never get better, I can't afford to let anyone down, I'm so lost