Retroactive jealousy

[gwraig]

I've had counselling but it didn't seem to help . I keep accusing my husband of being still in love with his ex wife, his ex girlfriend, actually any of his exes but in particular his ex wife who he has kids with .

Has anyone else overcome this ? It's going to ruin our relationship . I feel like I'm going mad with these constant thoughts about his past loves

This sounds really hard for you to deal with. Acknowledging that it’s a problem is the first step.

Presuming he’s never done anything to make you feel this way, is he understanding of your issue, or does it make him defensive?

Have you been like this in previous relationships too? How long have you been together, and how did that come about?

Why do you think you are like this? don't you trust him? I'm talking from the other side of the fence here..

I'll explain my situation - split with my ex partner over 10 years ago, we have a 13 year old son. I have tried to make an effort with my ex P's wife and she has said she feels 'threatened by me' No idea why. I've done nothing to her. I have no feelings about my ex at all and happy he's moved on. I look at his new wife and think how insecure and immature she is. She has taken out her hatred on my son who has special needs because she can't deal with the fact her new husband has a past. The ramifications of this have been unreal. The psychological damage, upset and hurt this has had on my son, the bewilderment and confusion from me, the fact now the grandparents agree she is very insecure she has alienated the whole family and caused the family a lot of grief. I'm sick of it, it all seems to be about her and her insecurities.

Okay so lets say you are the potential 'her'. Would you want to cause this much chaos and hurt in your family? You need to learn and trust that your partner has chosen you for you and don't create drama because you can't deal with it.

Of course your partner has had past loves, like YOU have! Think about what you are doing because it's made our lives a misery walking on eggshells around this woman.