Hi guys, I need some advice...
My girlfriend and I have been together 2 years. We’ve been living together for 6 months. She has two children aged 10 and 12 From a previous relationship that ended 3 years ago.
All is well with everything apart from the involvement with the children’s Dad.
He has the children at his house every weekend. A set up that seems to work well for everyone. Particularly the children and that’s the main thing for us.
Communication is very poor regarding picking
Them up and bringing them
Back. He just turns up most times whenever it suits him without any consideration.
Every week My partner will contact him on Thursday to ask him whether he’s picking up children Friday night or Saturday morning (we don’t mind either we just want to know his plans so we Can plan our time ) sometimes it’s Friday night and sometimes early Saturday morning we never know unless we ask him.
Every week is predictable before we’ve even reached out to him.. he will not answer his phone or he will read and ignore messages or will reply and say he doesn’t know.
Last night we had the opportunity to go out with friends if the children weren’t at home. So Thursday evening my GF messaged him and asked him was he collecting Friday night or Saturday?
He read the message and didn’t reply.
Two hours later she sent a question mark and he replied and said he didn’t know but would let
Her Know tomorrow. She replied and said could he please let her Know early as if the children aren’t at home we have plans to go out.
He Never contacted her all day. We didn’t pursue our plans as we assumed children would be home. 7pm he calls the eldest child directly
And says get mum to ring me about picking you up tonight or tomorrow. Child passed message on straightaway. She didn’t get the chance to call
Him (we were having dinner) and 20 minutes later he just pulled up outside the house.
We have asked him to communicate
Better and earlier in the week but he says he can’t because of his job.
He returns the children on a Sunday anytime between 4-8pm. We’ve asked
Him to message and say what time he plans to return them. We don’t mind what time
They come Home but would like to know a rough time so we Can make sure we are in and sorted.
He doesn’t. He just pulls up outside with them whenever suits him not knowing or caring it seems
if we are In or not.
The children spend the whole time asking their mum the same questions, is dad
Coming for us today? Are we going to dads today or tomorrow? What time will dad be here? All we
Can say is we don’t know but we have called/messaged him and are awaiting a reply.
Tuesday nights the youngest
Child has football training that his dad takes
Him to and is involved in. Every week nobody knows what time he will arrive sometimes
It’s too early and sometimes it’s just bang on time. The boy will Get ready regardless
But the only time anyone Knows for sure is when his car Pulls up outside.
Two weeks ago he called my GF half an hour before the training and said he couldn’t make it so she would have to Drop everything and take him but she couldn’t as I had the car. Therefore we had a disappointed and upset child who couldn’t go.
I’ve had enough of this. It feels like we are tied to his work schedule.
Am I being unreasonable feeling like this?
He’s the kind of bloke that if our jobs impacted
Him in any way he would kick off about it.
Sundays is our only relaxing day together without work or household chores and we often suggest
Places to go or things to do but can’t as we never know when the children will be dropped off.
We have in the past actually Been out and about
An hour away from Home when one of the children has called from the doorstep and asked where we are and why are we not answering the door.
Has anyone else experienced
Issues like this.
I’d really welcome tips or advice On how to deal with it.