Dating two guys.... can’t decide!! Please help

[Confusedwalker]

Ive found myself in an incredibly awkward and uncomfortable position

I’ve found myself dating two guys at once and now o don’t know what to do.

The first guy I was set up on a blind date with by a close friend. It got off to a rocky start as he ignored my messages a couple of times for up to a week so I presumed he wasnt interested.
In that time I found myself on OLD and met the second boy. He was different as we spoke very easily over text and wanted to meet pretty much straight away.
I blew this off a few times as boy #1 was poking his head in again and we eventually met.
Date went well although the initial attraction wasn’t there he grew on me as the night went on and we ended in a kiss.
Fast forward I ended up in a first date with #2 a week later as #1 had stoped responding to texts again.
Wasn’t that fussed by #2 but we met up and got on great!!!

Now I’ve had 2 dates with both guys and as it’s my birthday round the corner they’re both talking about making plans and seeing me. I feel completely caught in the middle and don’t know what to do.
Boy #2 seems to be talking about future plans more and if I’m honest I don’t want to move quickly with EITHER boy after my past relationships

What do I do!!
Do I continue to date both? (Nothing past kissing has happened yet and I wouldn’t sleep with more than 1 person anyway)
I also need to disclose I have HSV so I feel that throws another spanner in the works (thanks cheating ex!)

Any advice would be welcomed!

I’d bin no 1

I did this a few years ago when I was online dating. In the end I realised I wasn't really into either guy and ended both. I think if you can't decide then you shouldn't continue to see either of them.
A few months later I was casually seeing someone when i met my now DH. After we met up the first time I ended it with him because it was instant with my DH and I just knew.

I think alittlebitconfused has hit the nail on the head for me

I’ve been treated very badly in the past so feel very anxious when it comes to relationships and what to do.

You’ve all made me realise I’m ok to sit back and take things at my own pace rather than me dragged along.

I’m just going to enjoy the company and see how things go. No pressure :)

Neither.

I've noticed nobody has really picked up on the HSV issue - sorry OP, not to force you to talk about it but you also need to consider which of these two has the patience and intelligence to understand that situation with empathy. And if one of them is for the chop and you're never going to do the deed with them, no need to tell!

I have it too - I've had it for 27 years, been with my DH for 22 of those. Its a difficult conversation, but it doesn't have to be the kiss of death. Certainly adds a layer of complexity to dating though eh. Some run, some carefully consider and then back away, others brand you a vile filthy trollop and would have you burned at the stake. Others nod sagely and marry you.

What is HSV?

I’m assuming it’s an STD in which case if you are going to sleep with either of them they really do have the right to know before you even get close to it.

Aside from that, I would probably bin both of them tbh.

I did pick up on it,that's what I meant about no sensitive data needs to be given until something exclusive or sex is discussed,obviously at that point the op needs to be open and honest about it.

I'm just conscious that her post came across as feeling like she was being pushed into uncomfortable situations.

Previous poster who mentioned this,glad your husband was supportive and you're right while it needs to be talked about it's not necessarily the end of the road for a new relationship.

Forget number 1, anyone that ignores your messages should be ditched, plus you said there was no initial attraction.

@Confusedwalker

So abit more context for #1

We were set up by a very good friend of mine as he is her boyfriends best friend, so I had abit of inside knowledge before hand.

He doesn’t date basically. When we first started texting he said to my friend he would rather get to know someone in person rather than over text. He just uses text to arrange meeting basically. Not a lot of chit chat in between like I’m used to.

I did mention it the last time I saw him and since then I’ve noticed a massive step up in his texts.

It’s weird but it did mean when we met up we had loads to talk about and discover about each other as it wasn’t all stated in text.

#2 is quite the opposite and we will text a lot, which is what I’m more used to

Re Number 1 - My now DH was exactly the same as this when we met . There really is nothing to worry about with this esp as he seems to have responded to you talking to him about this . I made it clear to him that it was preferable to have a date set for the next time so it Mahers me feel like I was Plan A as opposed to Plan B ( in my head ) .

Thank you everyone for your kind words, especially regarding the HSV. I’ve very comfortable with it and it hasn’t effected me for 8years. I even forget I have it. However I don’t want to feel like I’m leading both on if it is going to be an issue. I think that’s the crux of my anxiety

I think you’ve all made me realise that dating should be fun and I need to relax into it abit more.

Man no1 seems very here or there already! Ignoring texts and then picking it back up again after a while is IMO a red flag. No 2 you say planning for the future? I’m not sure what to make of that. He could be doing 1 of two things

-pushing you into a relationship very quickly (generally doesn’t end too well)
-he’s a lustful person and does this a lot (get bored when he’s slept with said person).

The thing is now your options are open..but the dynamics might change if you drop one of them now...number 1 and the way he goes quiet for days might bother you a lot more when you don't have number 2 to keep in contact with as well! I don't think that would be good for you. I would probably drop him but still keep my options open!