When to call it a day...

[namechange202086]

I can't decide whether to end marriage or if I'm just believing the grass is greener being single.

Day to day we mostly get on, but he is lazy and does little in the house (has improved), issues with alcohol, and I have zero interest in him sexually.

I don't know if any of this is worth splitting up a family? I still remember being miserable single and jealous of other people's family life. At the same time I don't want to potentially give up the chance to meet someone better or even just be more content alone.

Have you spoken to him? Therapy? Those would be my first ports of call ... good luck

How long have you been together? And how long was it good before it went sour?

Together about 8 years and it went sour quickly. Lots of incidents where he takes drinking (and drugs) too far. These incidences have reduced a lot over the last few years and he is behaving better most of the time.

Currently I want to split, but I worry I'll regret that in a few years time. I'm terrified of being single and miserable and realising I would have been less miserable putting up with him.

It sounds like you’re making your decisions based on fear (chiefly, fear of being single) and that isn’t a good basis for decision-making. That’s why you stuck with the relationship even though it went sour quickly.

There are no guarantees. You might leave your husband and remain single but honestly, in your shoes, that sounds preferable to staying with someone with whom you’re so discontented. On the other hand, you might meet someone with whom you feel more compatible. You don’t mention whether or not you want children but it doesn’t sound like this relationship would be a good basis for children. Perhaps your relationship is salvageable but it doesn’t sound promising.

Life is not a dress rehearsal - this is your one shot. You don’t mention your age but do you want to spend 20/30/40 or more years with a husband you are so dissatisfied with?