Marriage is over but have disabled kids and am sahm - how can I split when we're so reliant financially?

[CrazyCatLady12]

I just don't think practically it's feasible to split. Have 2 young kids under 5, both disabled especially the youngest. I've given up work to look after the youngest so no real income of my own. H is a company director and draws the minimum salary for tax purposes so we'd be screwed in terms of maintenance. I'm stuck and it's hell.

What assets are there? What will you do for housing?

Only asset is the house. Still mortgaged, so some equity but not lots. I have no idea about housing. We'd need to sell this house but there wouldn't be enough to buy 2 separate places outright and with no job or ability to work due to youngest'needs I don't know what I could do

If your children are disabled you should be entitled to PIP for them. It's easier to get it awarded for children if the have a physical disability because DWP can get confused by autism or special needs etc and sometimes you have to apply several times before you get anywhere.

PIP rates are up to £600 per month, per disabled person, it's tax free and not counted towards tax credits or universal credit. You could also get carers allowance which is about £65 per week.

Where is all your money coming from now. Add your allowances together plus any extra benefit you would get as a single parent plus any maintenance that your DH would give you and that's what your income will be. It's the housing that's the problem if you won t have enough for two separate homes. But people do manage to split up even if there isn't a lot of money. Your DH might have to review his finances.

Given you've said draw the minimum salary for tax purposes do you mean he has more actual income than that but that the way its done through the business you'd get very little maintenance because his taxable income is low.

If his income is low could you claim PIP for your kids now and have it paid into an account soley in your name and save so you can leave? I don't know how UK. benefits work if that's possible.

2 of my boys have SEN, 3rd might top and I have a disabiling chronic illness. I don't know if I'll ever be able to work, not just the boys care needs but my own. So I've done calculations re rent, food, bills etc versus benefits. It's going to be tough and for so many reasons I hope I can work some day, but its better than where I am. I don't know if that's the case with your relationship, but if you want to leave I think it's worth doing the figures and seeing what your options are.

Are you claiming DLA for them op? Have you reapplied since turning 3 for mobility? Are you getting carers allowance?

If you moved out and tenured you'd get housing benefit, DLA for the two kids, carers, assume tax credits and if it's high rate DLA you'd get the disability element. Plus a little maintenance.
Would that be enough?

Does he care for them ATM? Would he want shared custody / overnights or would it all be on you solidly?

Dla or pip tax credits and carer allowance a d you stay in house if it suitable for your needs.. ring social services for carers assessment.

If he owns any part of the business it is a marital asset and can be considered to be "in the pot".

I suggest you get some legal advice here. There may even be a case for spousal maintenance.

Could you have a look at the citizen advice website ?
My sister has a disabled child and can’t work outside the home. She looked into every possible benefit when she split from her husband
It’s tight but not impossible