I just cant leave...

[Anxiousmarie]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3987278-Is-it-furlough-or-a-realisation?msgid=99207217#99207217

This is a follow on from my previous post, so Sunday night i woke up to DP awake in the middle of the night all stressed out saying i have been cold and distant and thinks we should split. Anyway after many talks abd revelations from me that he makes me anxious etc we decided to give it another try. The devestation from DP and DS was just awful. Now i feel more trapped than ever before DP constantly wants cuddling even comes home from work as hes sad and needs cuddling as he loves me so much and his eyes have been opened to how much he loves me etc. However he has been through my phone and read messages that iv have sent to close friends about whats gone on and he has gone into paranoid overdrive but doesnt know i know he has read my phone. My best friend haa invited me round on sunday for a chat and drink , he says he wants me to go and it will do me good but is worried i will come home and end things its really putting a downer on it. He wants me to cuddle him first, say i love you first and get the spark back but i still just feep exhausted by it all.

The amount of times I’ve read similar on here! He loves you, needs to be with you all the time and can’t live without you! He is lovebombing you and it’s suffocating and will drive an even bigger wedge between you.

Nobody will make you stay, he cannot force you. You sound like you’ve fallen out of love with him. It’s your decision. Don’t let him decide for you. He’s a master manipulator.

@Inaseagull

No Marie! No, it really wasn't. Debt, gambling, controlling, smothering...

The suicide threats are designed to get you back, any time he threatens, get the police to do a welfare check. That is the limit of your responsibility. Even if he does attempt, that's on him and nothing to do with you. No more chats, no more texting, it's over. I hope you can remain resolute and look forward to a peaceful life with your DS. 🌺

Everyone has agreed with me that it was a threat and not just a walk.

Its just so hard when im so soft and find it really hard to be firm with him. Everyone has told him to give me space and leave me alone even for a few days but he just cant seem to do it

You must stick to your decision. His happiness does not trump yours and you certainly don't want your DS to grow up witnessing any more of his behaviour. Can't you block him for a few days, just to give yourself some breathing space. Go grey rock with him, yes / no answers, repeat it's over, please leave. Get the ball rolling on hour housing situation so at least you are moving forward. Wishing you strength!

@Inaseagull

You must stick to your decision. His happiness does not trump yours and you certainly don't want your DS to grow up witnessing any more of his behaviour. Can't you block him for a few days, just to give yourself some breathing space. Go grey rock with him, yes / no answers, repeat it's over, please leave. Get the ball rolling on hour housing situation so at least you are moving forward. Wishing you strength!

Thank you.

I am finding it really tough as i just feel so bad for ignoring him as its just not me. I have been just giving simple answers but always answer calls incase it is or about DS as he is with him this weekend.

My feelings at the moment are like nothing ever happened, is that normal? My mum is staying with me as im mentally not in a good way i just want to run away