I have a great sadness. Please help

[toomuchfgh]

So: my mother died just over a month ago. My father a couple of years before that.

My 'd'h has been a bit useless for a long time. I looked after him at the start of lockdown when he got very sick and we got a bit closer. I imagined that maybe we could sort it out.

Then a few nights ago, I was asking for his help with something that was stressing me, and he snapped at me, and bared his teeth in a snarl, body raised aggressively because I had dared to ask him to stop texting for a minute and listen to what I was saying. He doubled down on having a go, coming out with some very weird shit about why I was being 'paranoid' about him messaging people when actually he'd been typing a search into google etc. He is still gaslighting me about it now and saying he did nothing wrong, ignoring that he spent about 2 hours having a go at me interspersed with 'apologies' that were nothing of the sort.

I am shattered - I've barely slept and am so down. I've lost the two people who loved me most in the world. I'm living with someone who cares so little for me he will be physically aggressive when I am so recently bereaved. I wouldn't do that to a stranger.

I need to leave him but have no energy to do anything.

Please help.

So very sorry for your loss. 💐

Do you have any friends or other family that you could perhaps stay with for a while. You need to take time out to grieve without the added stress of dealing with your partner and the issues there.

I'm sorry to hear you're having such a rotten time of it op. Nothing worse that finding out when we need the support the most, that the people who should want to provide it, are cold hearted wankers.

I think your parents would probably tell you that you shouldnt waste any more time with someone who is cruel and that you deserve to be happy. T

This may be the beginning of a new chapter for you, a new adventure. But that every new adventure starts with taking those scary first steps. You'll soon find your energy returning once he isn't around to drain it anymore.

I am so very sorry to hear of your sadness op. You are having an awful time. Know that this will pass. But... now is the time to put yourself first. Value yourself. Get rid of anything and anyone who no longer serve you. You are much, much braver than you think.