Hi
To cut to the chase, I met gf two years ago at a friend's party, I was working and at University part time and due to finish my degree the the following year. I am 29 and she is 28. She wasn't working then and but now is currently works 9hours a week. She told me the first time we met that she had two children, one aged 7 and the other aged 3 then. She was really honest and upfront, in addition I really liked the girl so I gave it to. From the get go I explained to her that I wanted to spend time with her alone first so we got to know each other. We had booked a caravan weekend in Camber sands but to my surprise when I went to pick her up she had the kids with her bearing in mind this was our third time together. She said she couldn't get a babysitter, which I was pissed off with, she could have cancelled I wouldn't have minded. Ended spending the weekend with her children.
Things moved pretty quickly after, if I asked for time together she would say well the kids know you already so there is no point. To distance myself from her I decided to see her every fortnight which worked well.
We spoke about her children and the possibility of having more in the future. I made it clear to her that I was happy in the relationship but was not ready to move in or have anymore children as I wanted a couple of years to finish Uni, and get a but of experience plus good job before settling. She was ok with this, she said she wanted to focus on her kids so they be a bit older before we settled together.
I finished Uni and got a good paying job, bought myself a new car something I had never done before. We kept seeing each other every fortnight and the odd weekend away the first year. She lives 30 miles away
Fast forward 2 years later we had booked a holiday to Disneyland Paris however this got cancelled 3 days before departure due to the Covid19.
The country went into lockdown when I was at hers preparing for our flights. She asked me to stay at hers as I was fourloghed and so was she, she said she would have struggled with two kids, plus she don't drive and leaves in a village. I agreed out of love.
We had agreed not to have children before so she had cool fitted. However during lockdown she kept claiming she had thrush and believed it was the coil so she had it removed and went back on the pill.
A month or so later to my surprise she said she had missed her period. We done a test and came back pregnant, I was in shock and still in shock. She wants to keep the baby but I am not ready to be dad yet. I only been doing my job for 8 months. And doing further training on PLC programming and software development which I am going to complete next year. She wants me to swap my car for a five door, wants me roive in and wants to be a stay at home parent. This will mean leaving my current job and being the bread winner in the family.
I know it's too late now and the baby is on its way but I am confused.
Also I didn't know how fully bad her kids were till we were in lockdown. They slam doors, call their mum stupid idiot which infuriates me. Also we don't watch TV in the front room as the kids will go ballistic if we changed the channel, so I end up watching telly in the bedroom even though I bought them a telly each for their rooms including the one in the front room. The kids don't eat fruits or veggies at all, they eat snacks. When they miss behave she says sort them out, when I try to they say why don't you just leave and go back to your house, she just says that's not a nice thing to say to him, and nothing else. I feel like she wants to be with me for what I can provide. We had a few disagreements about my responsibility for her children, I am happy to be thier stepdad but I am not their dad. She started crying saying all they want is love from me, which I get but I am not the father. I will take on the role of being a parent to them with limitations Both kids don't see thier dad due to her reasons. I realized who she really is during this time that my mind is telling me to leave her, baby or no baby.
The baby in due in February next year. I can either move in with her but I don't see this working, I am very ambitious and want to achieve as she is not bothered. Or I can just walk away now.
Opinions please