Violent/aggressive DS15.

[chitofftheshovel]

DS has, for quite some time, been violent towards me (tonight grabbed my arm hard, chucked an object at my face and - possibly the worst for me, spat in my face. Ten days ago he had his hands around my neck).
I'm sick of treading on egg shells around him and finally reported it to the police tonight.
Feel like shit - if it were a man I'd have told him to fuck off long ago. Mum's aren't meant to be scared of their sons!
Has anyone turned things around with their violent children? Or just offer me a handhold for tonight - sleep is a long way off yet!!

This is just awful I mean I know it sounds Petty but could you not go to record him with your own phone when he starts and say your live streaming or your going to post it to everyone he knows. I mean just as a fear tactic it could go the other way and anger him more you know your son but just with all this social media now bullies don't like to be outed by everyone. When he starts this shit I would literally just take everything away, don't cook for him don't clean for him and if it get violent again get him removed from your house. He isn't a child anymore who doesn't know right from wrong.

Sending a handhold OP no experience but really glad others are coming forward for you. Really hope you manage to sleep soon and move forward with your DS x

Sorry to hear of your situation op, we're similar, my 13yo DD is abusive to me, calls me names, refuses to do what I ask, has no respect for me. I spoke with her dad and she's living with him until she learns how to show me respect.

Sorry you are going through this.

By all means seek help and counselling for your son and support for yourself. But call the police each and every time he raises a hand to you. He will learn v quickly that's a boundary that cannot be crossed.

There's an organisation called Family Lives OP that you might find helpful. They have a helpline you can call and they should hopefully point you in the right direction. You can call their helpline on 0808 800 2222 or email [email protected]. They also have an online chat service which is open, Monday to Friday 1.30pm and 5.30pm.

This isn't genetic it's learned behaviour from his father. It's considered domestic abuse (APVA) and I would contact your local domestic abuse organisation for advice and support. You can find them here or contact the National Helpline, which is a 24hr number: 0808 2000 247

Dial 999 if you feel frightened or unsafe. Keep arguments away from the kitchen.

Respect used to run programmes for abusive teenagers. I'm not sure if they still do but it's certainly worth looking into: 0808 802 4040

Please do not live stream. These could very well be meltdowns related to autism.
The send vcb page in Facebook is really great, also look at pda parenting strategies, finding new ways of saying no, more cooperation on rules and negotiation. Forget about consequences for the moment and instead explain afterwards how that makes you feel. Also look at Dr. Ross Greene, he wrote the explosive child he has a book for teenagers too.
The brain is nowhere near developed at this point and very much under construction, you need to understand that, the primitive emotional part of the brain takes over and all rational and logical thought is long forgotten.

Do a little bit more research into some of these parenting methods and you should see more co operation, but it's not an overnight thing, it takes hard work and patience. Good luck op.