I have been with my DP 10 years, very early on he had an EA led to a PA, I was devastated, threw him out and a few weeks later he begged to come back, distraught, suicidal, big mistake etc....
It took me a while to trust my instincts and in the end my gut feeling was right.
I had him back with massive conditions over full disclosure, honesty and the absolute condition that if I ever got those gut feelings again, regardless of explanation that would be the end.
Since then we have had really happy years, I genuinely love him and his children to bits, we were even fine together and weirdly enjoying lockdown even with our income reduced by 90%.
However 6 weeks ago he started to seem distanced, phone no longer charged in the house and stuck to his side, not engaging in plans to view new houses, we have sold ours, working somewhere but no signs of payment anyway all the pointers... confronting him led to physical violence (I have reported)
I recognise the probability of what is going on and see the same behavior as before and am getting the same absolute denial (and anger)
Sorry I realise I am seeming cold (just think I am numb) I have said we are over, it is my house, we are not married but I looked at his bank account with him yesterday so he could transfer some money for Council Tax ..he has no money....I don't want us to be over but I have to finish this but I don't know where he ill go, I worry about his children and him, I know he has made another massive mistake but I can;t save him this time...
I have such emotions, so sad that I will not be with him, missing my step children, worrying about what ill happen to him but also so angry that this is happening.
I think I just need the strength to realise that I am not the carer of him (he is 45) and however he ends up isn't my responsibility?
Thank you for reading x