I'm being bullied at work but I just got a promotion

[Anawana]

Hello everyone,

I hope you are all doing well. Following on from my previous post, I wanted to get some advice in light of recent developments on the issue.

I (26F) have been bullied by a colleague (48F) since I started my job in September last year. She is a very toxic person and you can see the details in my post. She has excluded me from social and work events, mocked and belittled me. There have been namecallings and snidey comments every day.

Last year I confided in another colleague (40M) about my problems with her and he told her everything I said and added false details which made things much worse. Now this colleague is also joined her and there's been a constant disrespect toward me from these two. Lovely people here commented on my post and advised me to quit my job.

I have been looking for a new job since my post, however not getting much luck due to the pandemic. Also, I got promoted early this month so I think best option for me to stick it out for a while.

Could you please help me navigate this very difficult situation? I look to find a new job asap but my mental health has been deteriorated very much. Please let me know what you would do to stay sane and professional. Is it too late to try and establish some boundaries?

I look forward to your comments and thanks so so much in advance!

Congratulations on your promotion!

I really do think leaving is still your best answer. Hopefully the promotion will put you in better stead for a better salary at a new place.

Speak to hr or her manager

Take the promotion. Carry on looking for a new job unless the promotion means you are no longer working with the toxic individuals at all.

Just confront her and ask why she's being so vile

Just try to ignore them and grey rock any snidey remarks, though I know it's difficult. ( I've even told other colleagues that I'm a bit deaf just so that the snidey went away. No point in them if you can't hear them is there ? And they can't say it louder cos then everyone would hear what dicks they are )

You're obviously working well and appreciated by other colleagues, as evidenced by your recent promotion. Congratulations !

How closely do you have to interact with them ?
Can you avoid talking to them by emailing instead ?
Do you all work the same hours ? Could you vary your own hours to minimise contact with them ?

Keep a diary of everything that is done and said and who, if anyone, witnessed it so that you have a comprehensive record. If it results in something that disadvantages the company (eg not being told about a deadline) note that as well. When you have enough (especially of incidents that negatively affect the company) take it to HR/ senior manager. But mostly keep looking for another job.

I would confront the person yourself and give her examples of when you felt bullied. Do it in a pleasant way.

If things don't change go to HR. Make sure you have evidence. Good luck

Feel for you here OP. Have you ever approached this woman informally and asked what the problem was?

I would keep a record of everything what they do / say - write it all down with clear dates. Anything on emails or phone calls also record. I would then speak to your line manager (if you feel comfortable) or speak directly to HR. Show them the examples, your logs and explain how long this has been going on for. I work in HR and would certainly want to help any employee who came to me with this problem.

Congratulations on your promotion

Include the details of her excluding you from things too.