Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Getting away bag

38 replies

DaffodilsAndDandelions · 19/08/2020 11:36

What do I need to pack in a getting away bag for myself, 20 month DS and dog?

OP posts:
HerBigChance · 19/08/2020 13:01

Will he try to contact your friend when you have gone?

oohyoudevilyou · 19/08/2020 13:07

I doubt you'll be able to take your own if you leave in a rush, but if you can source secondhand stair gate and travel cot for your friend to store, it may make your first few days in temporary accommodation easier with your DC.

8catsisnotunreasonable · 19/08/2020 13:08

My XH went through my itemised phone bill and contacted everyone on it looking for me, it was horrendous 😢

Brianna85 · 19/08/2020 13:24

Hi,

I've walked out of the house with my son so many times and always ended up back home as I had nowhere to go, but when you have nowhere to go and your just walking endlessly it gives you time to think about where to go and what you need for a journey.

As you have a car you can pack more than what I could. You will need clothes, underwear, medication and sanitary products. Cash (if it's a joint account he can stop your card or find out where you are from statements, so always have cash) a map and directions (either print out or write them down and put it with your getaway bag details of women's refuges, telephone numbers for support lines, directions to pet friendly hotels, hopefully you have family who you can go to for support) things to keep your children entertained while you are busy rearranging and sorting out your new life.

DaffodilsAndDandelions · 19/08/2020 13:24

He'll know exactly which friend I be gone to as I've only really got one. However we are part of the same friendship group and he is well known in our community. There is no way he will do anything that I could then use as something to make people think less of him. Once I have left he will become mr nice and he will have done no wrong and have no idea why I've been so harsh walking out on him.
I don't plan on telling him my new address when I get one. Will be dropping DS off for contact.

OP posts:
namechange12a · 19/08/2020 13:26

OP there may be help available regarding emergency housing if you are homeless due to DV. I would contact Shelter and have a chat with them about it and they will advise. Here's some info from Shelter on housing options due to DV. If you have a child with you, you're considered priority need. It might be worth contacting your council housing department and getting advice.

If you're currently waiting for him to kick off and are going to burn a list of items to pack, then I wouldn't wait. You can also find your local DV service here.

Stuff to pack for an emergency bag:

Identification
Birth certificates for you and your children.
School and medical records, including the telephone numbers of the school and your GP or surgery.
Money, bankbooks, cheque book and credit and debit cards.
Keys for your house, car, and workplace.
Driving licence (if you have one) and car registration documents, if applicable.
Prescribed medication, and vitamin supplements.
Cards or payment books for Child Benefit and any other welfare benefits you are entitled to.
Passports (including passports for all your children if you have them), visas and work permits.
Copies of documents relating to your housing tenure, (for example, mortgage details or lease and rental agreements).
Current unpaid bills.
Insurance documents.
Address book.
Family photographs, your diary, jewellery, small items of sentimental value.
Clothing and toiletries for you and your children.
Your children’s favourite small toys.

There are pet fostering schemes for those fleeing DV. Your dog can be temporarily housed until you sort out something more permanent. You can see more details here. Your local DV service will know of local schemes.

It's obviously better if you stay in the house and he leaves but that can be difficult without evidence. Shelter can give you more advice on that.

DaffodilsAndDandelions · 19/08/2020 15:31

Well, I'm all packed and ready. I hope I don't need to use The Bag but better safe than sorry. There have been a few times where I've wished I'd done it already. There are only two things left in the house I NEED to take eventually. One is a long case clock and the other is a violin. Both were my gran's but both live in the living room and are visible all the time. And is need a very good friend to store a 7ft clock!!

OP posts:
Krampusasbabysitter · 19/08/2020 16:15

OP, I appreciate that you are extremely short on money but also have a look at some self-storage units for some of the smallest spaces available. They are actually very reasonable and some, like Big Yellow offer 50% off for the first 8 weeks. It might work out just a few quid a week. You could then take a few things along and put there for safekeeping, it will allow you to save more vital items because it can mount up fairly quickly and far exceed a bag.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 19/08/2020 16:19

I'd send the clock away to be 'cleaned' to be honest OP, it will be the first thing smashed. The violin you'll have to take with you.

TintagliaBlue · 19/08/2020 16:22

Microchip documents for the dog xx

JammyHands · 19/08/2020 16:30

Your dog’s vaccination certificate.

mamakena · 22/08/2020 08:03

Start a new online only email address and switch all your banking and confidential info there. Get a burner phone. For the violin, take it and leave the empty case. Lots of cash. If possible start a new bank acct and move money there. You need a buffer.

If you can move somewhere other than the friend's long term, pls do. If need be cash out savings or take out a loan to find your own place. Do not depend on only one friend - if your DP is in the same circles, he could manipulate things against you.

For me the way I did it was to travel far to visit family (sick relative maybe?) and extended it.

Hugs and best wishes.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread