When is too soon for a bit of a fling?

[StartingAgainat31]

So I've been separated from my husband since earlier this year. Our marriage has been on the rocks for some time. I got the ick a long time ago for a number of reasons.

So I've just been plodding along, sorting all the stuff that comes with a separation, like the house. We are not legally separated yet, but he is very clear he has moved on, and I suspect has another women.

Out of the blue I get a message from an old flame. We had a thing before i got with my STBX. I absolutely thought he was just gorgeous when I knew him, but things conspired against anything really happening. We have been flirting quite outrageously. I'm quite clear in my head I don't want anything serious, but if the offer was there for a bit of a fling I would definitely consider it.

Am I being a total idiot. Is it too soon? I was always incredibly attracted to him, and vice versa. Very good chemistry. Do I go down this road or not?

Do it, why not.. have some fun

Go for it!

Fling yourself into it ;)

Why are you asking us? Do you have doubts? Or are you really excited and want to tell somebody?

Go with your gut.

Fling away! Sounds like fun 😁

Buy some condoms and have some fun.

Best thing I ever did after my marriage broke up was to have a fling with an ex, it gave me a big confidence boost with someone who I felt comfortable with and we had great chemistry. Like you I went in to it knowing I did not want to be in a relationship. It didn’t last long but totally worth it.

@Covert19 I think to share my excitement! Although it is difficult to get out of that married mindset.

thank you @IAmOptimusPrime it is has been a really powerful confidence boost so far. And just fun!

Is he single

There is no reason not to - unless he's married/in a relationship?

do you think your x is thinking of you. go for it - no hesitation!!

After getting out and away from my controlling marriage I had a couple of very enjoyable flings and to be honest it was exactly what I needed to get my confidence and feeling of self worth back. Enjoy it and have absolute fun and laughter, as long as both of you are single then it's nobody's business but your own x

If he's single (which I presume he is) then go for it.

Have fun!

It can be a lot of fun (& sex!), but it delayed me dealing with the 'real' break up (even though I thought I had!) so when it ended it all came crashing down when I hadn't expected it to.

Have fun!!

Yeah just be sure defo single!

@IncrediblySadToo yes I understand that. I was so sad for so long. But I'm under no illusion I'm totally over it and the damage he did.

Yes. I'll definitely be checking his status for sure!

There isn't a 'too soon', it's whatever feels right for you. I had my first date ten days after I left my husband a couple of months ago.

Go for it. You deserve some fun.

Don't involve any children, make sure he is single and go for it.

Have fun.

Go for it but keep your heart safe. It’s easy to get carried away & then get hurt.

Have you agreed grounds for divorce? Wouldn't want your ex to cite adultery, he could even name your old flame.

24 hours

@Catawaul there is no reason why he should or would find out. No mutual acquaintances. I certainly don't intend on posting it all over social media, however a number of photos have appeared of him cosying up to someone, on a mutual friends Facebook feed. A bit of a slap in the face when I saw it, but it would be a total ballache to prove anything from my perspective. Financial terms of separation agreed. Do think things would be OK. I am a bit aware of feeling like I'm baiting him, which of course would not be my intention.

Even if he did find out and cite adultery on your divorce it doesn’t really mean anything. It’s not like you get black listed for future marriages or flogged in the town square.
Men don’t think this way and neither should you. I think you’ll find it quite empowering, I’m quite excited for you!