My husband called me a bully recently during a row.
We are going through a difficult time and it has been like this for a few years. I am thinking of leaving.
It's all such a long story and I've been on Mumsnet before about it but I will try to be brief.
He has a temper and moods
He has also has crossed boundaries with other women but not full affairs.
Anyway, him calling me a bully really hurt. It isn't a one off as he often says really hurtful things in rows and swears and shouts.
Usually, he later apologises and says he won't do it again but he always does.
And he always presents a case and downplays everything. Yes, all the usual stuff!
So now when I mention how he called me a bully he says "what was the context?" And "what did I say to him just before it?"
I was asking if he could promise not to contact the woman in a work capacity - (it's difficult to explain but he didn't really need to contact her but he wouldn't commit to an answer as usual.)
I was looking for reassurance and loyalty.
He says I force him to say things and called me a bully!
He always throws me and seems to outwit me.
I can't answer and tie myself in knots trying to explain.
Then he says it's not that bad to be called a bully!
This is just an example of what he is like in many conversations.
I am mentally and emotionally exhausted by it all. He is very clever and likes to disagree with everything and question and doubt everything.
I have actually often felt bullied by and scared of him but have only told him this very recently after years!
He still insists that the context is relevant but I see that as blaming me for his behaviour!
Please tell me he's not right to say this?
Today, I feel so utterly depressed.