Advise please

[Fyall81]

I would like to know some of your opinions in what you would do if your husband ever said he wanted to watch you sleep with one of his friends? Or asks for a threesome with another lady? I'm struggling with my emotions over this, am I over reacting or should I have more respect for myself and leave? I would never want to watch my husband sleep with another lady so am struggling that maybe he doesn't love me as much as I thought he did? Do I deserve better!? Thanks in advance

You can’t trust him. He won’t be loyal or faithful to you. It’s the end really (unless you’re really, genuinely into the idea and we’re absolutely thrilled he suggested it first - but somehow I very much doubt it).

What a sleaze.

That was my thoughts exactly, thank you, just needed to hear it from someone else I think. Yes sad dirty old perv!

When I broke up with a long term ex he suggested a 3some to keep us together and also said he would like to see me with another man. That was his idea to keep us together!! So don't necessarily think you should jump to conclusions your dh doesn't love you.... But ye I agree it's not something I would be in to at all and if I had been in love with my ex I would probably have been hurt by that suggestion.

You do deserve better and you know you have more self respect than this, your husband doesn't, shame his true colours have come out after marriage!

You are obviously upset by the suggestion. I would guess there are other issues in this relationship and this is the straw that broke the camels back. He’s not who you think he is.

I’d leave.

Grim. You deserve better OP.

It depends in what context. If this is his genuine suggestion, then I would be worried but if it was sexual talk I think a lot of men have those fantasies.

Is this just fantasy talk? I feel it's important to be very open sexually and discuss what each other might find a turn on

The difference being if you said you weren't interested and he persisted with trying to get you to do it

Absolutely do not do anything you're not comfortable with op

He may just be throwing the suggestion out as a fantasy? Not as something he wants you to do in rl?

I would like to know some of your opinions in what you would do if your husband ever said he wanted to watch you sleep with one of his friends? Or asks for a threesome with another lady? I'm struggling with my emotions over this, am I over reacting or should I have more respect for myself and leave? I would never want to watch my husband sleep with another lady so am struggling that maybe he doesn't love me as much as I thought he did? Do I deserve better!?Thanks in advance

It's a fantasy, and probably he's trying to nag you to do it. How do you feel about it? If you feel pressured then I would dump him, as no-one should feel like someone is pressurizing them to do something sexually they don't want to do (sexual coercion.)

Does he nag you in other ways/ go on about sex in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable?

I'm bi and I've had threesomes (but then I'm attracted to some women- it sounds like you're not, in which case don't do it and it's really unethical of your husband to nag you to do something you have no interest in at all.) The threesomes never ended well. One girl was my best friend, I knew her years before I knew my partner, but she had a lot of issues. She effectively tried to get my partner to shag her behind my back in the end, and I think they probably did TBH. With other threesomes I was the third wheel and there was a lot of jealousy coming usually from the men because I hadn't paid them as much attention as they wanted.

My last partner frequently nagged me sexually in many ways- it was very unpleasant. He had another girlfriend who was 20 years older than me. He kept trying to nag me to get off with them, including 'will you do it for my birthday?' I found it hard to say no to him as I'm a people pleaser, but I did manage to in the end. Eventually I realized he was only interested in me for sex.

Your husband sounds sleazy, pushy and not pleasant at all.

Wanting to have a threesome doesn't mean he loves you less- it's 'just' a sexual fantasy.

But he does sound sexually coercive/pressuring, which is my personal least favourite trait in a man these days.

Does he pressure you in other ways? If he's like this I recommend separating from him.

@Fyall81 How're you doing?

Okay thank you, has been a long time coming I think, just wish I had done it sooner and not wasted so much of my life on him 🙄 x

Oooh, have you started to get rid of him?