Can’t face online dating

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But I need to start meeting men and dating. I’m mid 30s and want a partner and to build a family.

I just can’t mentally face how awful it is though.

How do I get over this?

You don't.

There's no point in doing online dating if it's not for you.

i know Covid has stopped many things happening at the moment, but look around to see if there's a group, club etc that you'd actually be interested in. Go out with friends as much as possible, accept invitations etc

In short, try other ways to meet potential partners. Some people can only relax in a social setting when the onus is NOT on two strangers meeting to see if they might be a couple. When everyone is concentrating on dance steps/ badger watching/ running then you get to become acquainted more naturally, without so much pressure.

I have an active social life and go out tonnes but in the past 10 years I have met men only through online dating. It’s just the way it is sadly.

I’m in exactly the same situation. Feel like I want someone to say “that’s fine, then you don’t have to do it” I REALLY hate OLD and previously relationships happened naturally in real life. I just hate the pressure I feel under. If it wasn’t for my age and the lockdown I wouldn’t be putting the pressure on myself but I’m panicking now. I flick through OLD and I don’t fancy anyone. Sorry I’m no help but I hate the whole situation too. Just wish I could fall in love naturally when not expecting it and without the pressure of my age and other people making a massive deal of me being single. Feel like I haven’t got time to leave it to chance and am seriously thinking of just settling for who is there and faking and forcing it a bit which I don’t want to do (but I bet loads of people do do that) sick of having my face rubbed in it on Facebook by the smug marrieds who live in a bubble ☹️

Even the "smug marrieds" had to go on dates to start with. Its a nightmare meeting men if your work and hobbies are all female-dominated, but maybe treat it like job-hunting. Network your friends, make a joke of saying, "do you know any single men", go on any and all dates. I did OLD for two years. Never met "the one", but i had a good laugh and met some lovely men. I met "the one", who is currently loading the dishwasher, when a mutual work colleague set us up on a date. In the end, it was a conventional way of meeting - BUT, I work with a LOT of men. If you dont work or socialise with men, you need to try other avenues, and OLD is just one of them.

OLD is not as bad as everyone makes out, you just have to be super fussy when it comes to the things men say and not so fussy when it comes to looks.

I chatted to quite a few men and the second they said something I didn't like the sound of I blocked. I swiped right to anyone who had an interesting profile even if they weren't conventionally good looking.

I disagree with the whole meet up ASAP to see if there's chemistry theory. I chatted to a few people quite a long time before meeting (lockdown helped with this) and chemistry grew with one of them and by the time I met him i was really keen on his personality. I fancied him the second I met him and we've been together 3 months now and are very happy. It might not be forever but it was a good dating experience. It was my only ever OLD because I was so fussy!

I did it for a couple of years and hated it so just accepted being single and love it.

I’m like you, I find very few people attractive.

I wouldn’t settle for anyone. Recipe for disaster that.

Consider going it alone if you don’t meet someone.

@funnylittlefloozie

Even the "smug marrieds" had to go on dates to start with. Its a nightmare meeting men if your work and hobbies are all female-dominated, but maybe treat it like job-hunting. Network your friends, make a joke of saying, "do you know any single men", go on any and all dates. I did OLD for two years. Never met "the one", but i had a good laugh and met some lovely men. I met "the one", who is currently loading the dishwasher, when a mutual work colleague set us up on a date. In the end, it was a conventional way of meeting - BUT, I work with a LOT of men. If you dont work or socialise with men, you need to try other avenues, and OLD is just one of them.

Lol it can be a nightmare even if you have a hobby that's male dominated. I just wanted to make friends but one hiking meet-up was enough to put me off my local walking group. 70% were men and the quiet, tense sexual frustration in the room was palpable. They held their beers trying to look casual whilst clearly registering THAT THERE WERE ACTUAL FEMALES there!!!!! First impressions of them weren't good. I couldn't relax because I suspect most of them were not registering me as a human being, but as being boobs on legs.

70% were men and the quiet, tense sexual frustration in the room was palpable. They held their beers trying to look casual whilst clearly registering THAT THERE WERE ACTUAL FEMALES there!!!!! First impressions of them weren't good. I couldn't relax because I suspect most of them were not registering me as a human being, but as being boobs on legs.

Hahaha i know this situation! I went to a model tank exhibition with my DP (this is proof he is "the one", because i would not normally hang around such places!). People watched us... me because i was an actual real live woman, and him because in the kingdom of the geeks, he was the man who knew an actual real live woman

@funnylittlefloozie That's so funny. When I was around 20, and looking quite good back then, I went into a model shop and as I descended down into their basement area of the shop, it was so obvious the men at the till were in a quiet flap BECAUSE OMG, THERE'S A WOMAN. IN A MODEL SHOP!!! Your partner truly was the king in the kingdom of geeks that day! Hehe! XD