Finally told dh(to be) that I don't think we can get married

[Elmonon]

Feeling very emotional, I've been holding it in for so long but it all just came out tonight. I said to him that I truly do not believe that he loves me and that I just can't get married when I do not get anything affection and feel remotely desired or even liked. I can't deal with his silence, he makes me feel totally alone in my own relationship. He just sat there in silence which reaffirmed it all, on pressing he said he just doesn't talk. He did bloody talk or we wouldn't of gotten this far, he's just become boring and someone I don't even want to be around. How can someone just never have anything to say.

I'd love it if this could kickstart some life back into him. I wish this would make him wake up and actually make me feel loved again. It'll be so bloody hard to tear our family apart and walk away but I have to now. I can't go ahead with the wedding if things stay like this.

Just looking for a hand hold really.

Well done @Elmonon, that must have been so bloody hard, but you've done yourself a huge favour.

Well done. Takes strength and you will find the right one in time

You've done the right thing. You've put up with that silence for too long and it doesn't sound like he wants to change.

Well done OP.

I can't go ahead with the wedding if things stay like this.

You can't go ahead with it now. Maybe if he transformed himself for a year you could reconsider and rebook the wedding, but you would always be risking him backsliding after the wedding into being boring.

I imagine you've probably gone off him, too.

You're making the right decision.

There's that saying 'where there's doubt, there's no doubt'. I wish I'd listened to my doubts before I got married. Well done OP! Wise and brave of you.

We have a one year old together, so not so straightforward. I genuinely thought the conversation being so honest and raw that he'd admit he just doesn't love me. I'm so sure he doesn't. He was adamant he does, he didn't know why he stopped showing it, he doesn't know why he never has anything to say. Just not sure how it got here. So bloody depressing.

How long have you been together?

Just coming up to 6 years. I've been in autopilot for a while now. I think I just sort of came to terms with the fact I was settling and wasn't ever going to have that passionate, true love sort of scenario. He's just gotten quieter and quieter. I just don't remember the last time we had a proper conversation. We're great at just existing around each other and making small talk but there's just nothing meaningful there. It's so weird.

Do you think he’s unhappy?
Even suffering with depression maybe?

I feel that life is too short to not be happy and I think you’ve done the right thing.
You may have simply just outgrown each other.