Is this mental abuse?

[ObsessedwithFIFA]

My ex husband of 2.5 years is a very bitter man and not a very nice person at times. He just cannot accept I left him because I was deeply unhappy with him.
I did meet someone quite quickly which probably made him worse, but even after all this time he still continues to make life difficult for me with regards to our child.
He's not flexible with childcare arrangements, likes to make it as awkward as possible with pick up/drop off.

He blames my job for me leaving him, and tells our child that I choose work over my family. Goes on that I had an affair (I didn't) and just generally is awful to me on messages. I've kept all of these as I'm thinking of seeking legal advice.

I know I'm a bit soft but I'm worried how it's affecting our son. Just not sure how much more I can take.
He is completely blind to how unreasonable he can be and thinks he has every right to be like this (because I left him and he hit rock bottom).

He's affecting my mental health and I just don't know how much more I can take.

Thanks for reading!

Feeling for you here, that is an awful situation to be in, my DPs ex is exactly the same, very bitter things didnt work out, really troublesome over anything to do with their child, she is the most akward woman I have ever met in fact, the other day she told me she needs time to 'get over it' .. they divorced nearly ten years ago!!!! Very hard when you are dealing with a bitter ex-partner who is totally unreasonable. Not knowing how old your child is, can you tell him that his father is just hurt and makes these stories up (eg the affair and choosing work over the family), as really I would just want my child to definitely know those things are not true and that any further things his father says that don't sound particularly nice then he can come ask you and you would always answer honestly, that is how we dealt with it from this end - we have found with my DPs son that his mothers bitter and nasty behaviour has actually turned him against HER, so what she is doing is very destructive, but only to her relationship with him. I have tried to explain that to her, but she is not listening and just carries on alientating him left right and centre, because she forgets that my DP is HIS father, so putting him down all the time (especially when he is a great father) is turning her child against HER, madness really. My DP has now stopped answering her mad rants and only speak to her with regards to pick up times and drop off times, there really is no other reason they need to speak, as rude as it sounds he just has to ignore most of her messages. Can you step back as far as you can from your ex and have the least to do with him as possible? You really do not deserve this and he has no right to affect your mental health like this. He needs a stern hand not a soft one now, he has no right to be unreasonable with you at all. Unfortunately people fall out of love sometimes and it is usually down to how the person treated you during the relationship, so passing all the blame on to you is very unfair of him, I am sure you had your reasons or you would still be with this man

Thank you @Watsitallabout

My son is 8. I have tried to explain that I like his Dad in a different way now, but he'll always be his Dad and I'll love him as we wouldn't have had him if I'd not met him.

I want to be stern with him but I always worry my son will suffer. I think he's worn me down that much I actually don't know how to stand up to myself.

Yes 8 is a little young to be explaining too much, but what you are saying is exactly right, my DP said the same to his son at that age and I say the same now, without her we wouldn’t have a lovely son, so I ask him to be kind to her no matter what.

I think it’s best to say to the ex the past is the past, he can either be friendly with you going forward, for the sake of your son or you really want as little to do with him as possible and just stick to your guns. You ended this because you were deeply unhappy and for it to have been worth all the trouble you at least want to be the happiest you can be now, your son will never suffer if your firing on all cylinders and not letting his father get you down, you had your turn at that already ;)