Thank you all so much for taking the time to make me see that this is not normal behaviour. I really do appreciate your comments.
For a few years I wondered why my DH is so unwilling to do small things to make me happy like just going for a walk, shopping or even a day out, anything! he just seems content to sit around the house on his phone and watching rubbish tv. I accepted that it was just him until I stumbled across his habit/addiction. I realised that whilst we were even in the same room he was watching. Everything is secret, his phone ( which he never leaves hanging around) his laptop, but how I found the history was some sort of miracle. He brought me an ipad, but what he didn't realise is that his other devises where synced to it, somehow?. I hardly used it hense why it took so long to discover.
His denial drives me crazy even though he knows I know. Doors locked when I get home from work, cameras on and evidence in the way of tissues, socks etc covered in cum on the floor.
Here's for the part that I'm not proud of but could not stand being told im crazy. When leaving the house I hid my phone a few times on record, and yes, got the further evidence I needed! Within minutes he was down to business! I always thought porn was porn and it was all acting, however, from the little I could hear the woman did sound in pain and mistreated, so maybe the stuff he is watching is not good!
As with the meet up sites, he would aften blow up arguments and disappear for hours not answering his phone. Now I guess I know why. Silly me thought he was just taking himself away from the situation even though the arguments were rarely my fault.
It all seems pretty clear now. Thank goodness I discovered that history!