A few months before lockdown I started a new job. I noticed one of my (younger) colleagues checking me out a few times but ignored it - I was in the death throes of a toxic relationship and that was taking up all my headspace. Also I'm cynical so just presumed he checked out any new woman he didn't find completely repulsive.
Then lockdown happened and my relationship finally (mercifully) ended. I also realised the colleague was someone a friend had once slept with casually. He was, apparently, pretty amazing in bed. The friend had wanted to continue things but he hadn't been interested.
I'm much older than this colleague. He is in his early to mid twenties (I don't know exactly.) I am mid forties but look much younger. This probably sounds delusional but too many people express shock at my age (and the age of my children) for it to be totally in my head. I'm mostly read as in my thirties.
After lockdown the colleague saw me out with my children. The next time he saw me at work he said, "I didn't think you were old enough to have children really." And from that point on I noticed his more obvious shows of interest tailing off.
The amazing in bed thing has piqued my interest however, and I've now developed a bit of a crush. And despite him clearly realising I'm not a suitable partner in any way due to age, and so backing off, I suspect he still may find me attractive. I sense something between us.
Anyway, he's too young. And we work together (and I do NOT want to be the subject of work gossip or make a tit of myself - can you imagine with the age difference.) And he once slept with a friend of mine. And I'm still bruised from this awful relationship. And did I mention I don't want to make a tit of myself?
So I would prefer not to have a crush really. Perhaps I'm just hurt by the end of my relationship and my brain is looking for a distraction? I would like some advice on how to pull myself together please.