Getting my ducks in a row. How?

[PeaPeaEeByGum]

For most of my marriage I have been financially ignorant. But after discovering my husband has been messaging escorts I am trying to find out what we have.

There is a mixture of pensions, different types of shares, bonuses. Luckily H does not know I know so for now I can collect information but for Some reason I can find little paperwork from 2014 onwards and certainly nothing from 2016. I am wondering if all this information is online? Will he be compelled to be truth or will He be allowed to get away with lying.

Sorry I’ve gone into a kind of work mode as the reality is too awful.

Form E on govt website is a good place to start. Form e is legal declaration followed by a questionnaire if you don't think he's declaring everything so yes knowledge is power.best advice on Mumsnet quietly fight for what you deserve and be dignified and try to be reasonable your end
Half hour free with a solicitor very very helpful and if you can engage one once it all kicks off they're are totally worth it
Chumplady.com brilliant
It can all get very messy once separated if everything is joint so consider getting a bit of cash together, emergency credit card now if on low/no income
Take care and get rest too. It can be a long road but freedom is worth it

Thank you. Thinking about it he is bound by some professional code of conduct so maybe that will be on my side.

I’m not after cleaning him out or anything I just feel vulnerable as I don’t know the full picture.

Depends on his financial set up. Theoretically the form E should be a declaration of what he has, but there are ways of obscuring financial information. Make sure you make copies or take photos of everything you can find even if years old. What was there along with details like account and membership numbers, companies shares are held in etc can make it easier to track down the money if you think his list of assets & debts is coming up short.

I have lots of photos. It’s a real mixture of stuff but v complex. So at least 3 types of shares. Not my field of expertise

If you have info about shares and things and he doesn't declare them in form e then you can simply say in the questions that follow, I understand that you hold shares in xyz , do you still have those, are they still worth anything - questions like that. Be a little bit careful about docs you find if you shouldn't technically be looking. In a shared desk / office / bedroom is fine but cracking his locked cabinet may not be... Was it the immerman case? Wives always used to look thru the desk to get the info but that was stopped at some point when privacy law or something came in... Do talk with a solicitor you like if you can

Yes he risks bringing profession into disrepute and things like that if he doesn't declare properly on form e. It's worth you doing it even tho it's an arse because as you say you will learn alot about financial things. It's quite a risk for him not to declare stuff, that's not to say that it doesn't happen

Totally understand the feeling vulnerable OP. It's ducks in a row time

OP - depending on how your relationship is - you could try smth a friend of mine did - she didn’t plan for it to be in preparation for anything but turned out so.
She just asked her then H - in case smth happens to you - what do I do? We have children and it worries me that I won’t know what we have and how I access it if you die suddenly.

This is helpful thank you