I’m spending nearly every night having nightmares and sometimes being sick. I’ve got anti depressants and I’m on a therapy course. It’s keeping me from doing anything silly but I am terrified every day that the life I wanted is over.
I was engaged, we were supposed to get married last October. He ended things and literally left the same day and I’ve not seen him since. I hear he’s now with someone new and they’ve even bought a house together. I’m 36 and learned recently that one side ovulating. I moved home to my family and got a small house that competed a few weeks ago. I used to live outside London so it is a huge change for me and I do like it (mine and ex fiancée were going to move out to the country when married), there’s not so many people around compared with the outskirts of London obviously.
I spent so many years dating before I met my ex. Literally 6 years. It wasn’t enjoyable I never liked dating that much.
I’m now back at square one and feel like I have no future in any way like the one I had hoped for. I sleep an hour or so a night and cry most days. My friends are all very settled down and I see them often but they have their own busy lives. I’m the one on the outside. I couldn’t face a family alone and it’s the whole partner dynamic that also matters to me. I don’t know how to get through this? I don’t find happiness in anything anymore.