So unhappy with life

[Rswq]

I’m so unhappy. I’ve had a couple of good relationships but ended nearly eight years ago. I’ve dated so much since then.

I moved into my own place 6 years ago and genuinely believed I would meet someone and settle down. I never thought I would still be in this house, nice enough but a commuter place and no community. I dont belong here, never intended on staying here so long. If I move away to be nearer where I grew up I would be massively reducing the dating pool.

I went on a date at the weekend and was so bored. I couldn’t wait to leave. I’m sick of being in coffee shops and restaurants and getting ready to meet strangers. It is no exaggeration to say all of my friends are settled down. Yes I could try and find other single friends but life isn’t that easy and most single people are much younger than me.

I’m starting to feel so isolated everywhere I turn. Life feels so unfair. I know life isn’t just about a partner but for me it is a huge part of life. I’ve successfully got on with things independently but I am so fed up of being so lonely. Everyone who tells me ‘oh just enjoy the freedom’ or ‘you need to be happy alone’ (read that lots on here!) is usually happily or unhappily with someone. I can’t help feeling like this, I want a family but not alone.

I’m 37 and half my life is likely over and the things that mattered most to me just haven’t happened. I am on anti depressants and I’m in therapy. They are not magic fixes to this and nothing is, I’m just alone and very sad about it. I don’t know what I’m asking really I’m just so sad.

Hello! I’m in a really similar position and just wanted you to know that you aren’t alone, there are so many women out there who feel the same. I have had to come off social media because I feel so overwhelmed seeing the photos of happy family life. Sorry I know that’s not helpful, I’m also watching this thread for more positive answers.

Sorry you are in the same position, it’s horrible isn’t it.

I just feel like my life has passed me by and how have I ended up here. The loser and idiot with a life crashing down not building up

I’m following another thread someone has just made in the relationships forum about how fake the ‘glossy’ social media photos are, just to comfort myself.

I’ve made a list of things I want to do next year to look forward to - like you I feel so sad and don’t really feel excited about any of the list, I’ve just put them there but feel like I will be going through the motions. Yoga retreat in Greece, tour of Golden Triangle in India. I know they don’t really make a difference to my predicament but it helps I suppose not to feel that the future is one big blank bleak.

Hey OP, you're definitely not alone. I can relate to everything you've said. I struggle with comparing myself to all my friends who are settled down and families also, it's heartbreaking to see these things happening for others when it's what you want for yourself. Its also very frustrating when people suggest going it alone or just being happy as you are when they haven't had to consider either option. I'm trying to see lockdown as a blessing in disguise and use this time to focus on getting into shape (mentally & physically) in the hope that when I feel ready to start dating again I will be in a better position. Perhaps that could work for you? I would suggest using Bumble bff and meetup; I've met and befriended other single women using these apps and it does help to feel that there are others in the same position. I'd also echo what another PP has said about coming off social media, it's really not helpful or healthy when you're feeling this way. All the best to you, I hope you feel better soon x