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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Down a rabbit hole

1 reply

Robin04 · 16/08/2020 23:36

Hi I’m married 25 years with two children my husband hasn’t worked the last 19 years we haven’t slept in the same bed for the last 11 except for a few occasions which I could count on my hands, we had a fight last week and he said he didn’t love me, he then denied it and said he was sorry to be honest I knew it anyway, he makes no effort, lives in my house while I work to the bone and am in debt up to my eyes while pretending everything’s fine, we have two kids one age 21 and the other 12 I’ve stayed because I don’t want them to be from a broken family as I grew up with one but so so regret it now, I am gone so angry and sad I hate my life but am too scared to leave I have no friends and no family, I’m 44 and in a loveless marriage, I keep telling myself when the kids are big il leave my youngest has severe anxiety and is starting high school I told my husband I want him gone by November after the child settles in school but I know he doesn’t believe me and will probably never go as I am his meal ticket, he is good around the house and does a lot while I work but I am worn out from working and having all the financial pressure on me and still having nothing and loving week to week we live in a nice 4 bedroom house in a nice area, I’m so tired of pretending and so sad that it’s all been for nothing I just don’t know what to do part of me wishes I left years ago and part of me is scared to, he has threatened suicide anytime I said I would leave and I have had two members of my family commute suicide, anyone any advice please

OP posts:
Lozzerbmc · 17/08/2020 07:02

Im sorry you’re in this awful situatiom. I’d get legal advice asap. I think he needs to leave as you say and then you petition for divorce. Why doesnt he work? Saying he’ll commit suicide is controlling.

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