I am a young adult living at home with my parents and siblings. I know living at home is not ideal but my financial situation is a little precarious at the moment. I do contribute financially and I know I am lucky to live at home so I am not complaining but I just wanted some outside perspective on this dynamic.
I am feeling quite frustrated as I feel like I am treated quite poorly in certain situations in my family. I feel a lot of guilt about living at home even though I do contribute I still feel like I need to help out lots around the house to almost earn my place. My other 2 siblings living here are also young adults: one also pays board but does not contribute to any household tasks and gets every meal cooked for him, the other is a student so does not pay board, is more independent but does not do any household tasks.
On the other hand I do lots. I cook several times a week for the family, cook the majority of my meals (the only time I don't cook is when we are eating together as a family). I am the only one in the family who walks our family dog. I clean the bathroom, kitchen, living room as and when I see that it needs doing. I do a good proportion of the food shopping. If my parents are doing DIY or gardening then I will help.
Sometimes I end up feeling frustrated. I feel like I have no privacy as my DM just walks into my bedroom without knocking. I deliberately wait until my DM has gone out to do my at-home workouts in my bedroom just so that I can do them in peace without being walked in on. If I get any parcels my DM wants to know what's in them and she asks if she can open them. It just feels like there is no respect for me as a person in my own right. For example my DM and I were due to go out yesterday for some lunch which is something I was looking forward to after a stressful week, but she cancelled because her friend asked to meet up with her so she went out with her instead. Another example is today I wanted to pop into the city centre as I need to pick a few things up, it's not time sensitive but was something I wanted to do. Instead my parents have gone out leaving me with the dog (who can't be left home alone). Even though it is a family dog my family act like she is my sole responsibility. For example if she is barking I will be summoned to go and sort her out. I love our dog but it is the way she is just assumed to be my sole responsibility that I find frustrating. I know my parents would never do that to my brother or sister, it's like their lives and plans are more important than mine. A few weekends ago my parents were redecorating. I hadn't slept well the night before so I had a lie in then got up and went to go and help and they (mainly my DM) were really passive aggressive about me having a lie-in and not getting up early to help. Meanwhile my brother went out with friends and my sister was still fast asleep.
I have tried to be more assertive but it never works. If I ask my siblings if they can help out they are taken aback by being asked to help and they just refuse or ignore me. Any attempt to try and say no to something just gets ignored. For example today I told them I was going out and so someone needed to be home with the dog, they all just went out anyway.