What did I miss?

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Recently a man contacted me through OLD as I was not a paid member I was not able to send him a message back. I ended up signing up for a month to message him. He gave me his number and we started chatting on WhatsApp and talked on the phone once. He suggested that we meet this coming Wednesday and I agreed but needed to know the time we were meeting so I could book a train ticket. We were meeting halfway. He would not give me the time and talked about booking a "room". I am not sure if he was staying in this place and then travelling to his job the following day.

I told him that I needed plenty of time to plan, he reassured me that we would talk on the phone on Friday after work. After work, he told me that he was too tired and needed a nap and said that we could meet at 2 pm. I pointed out that meeting in a small village during pandemic might not be a good idea for the local people. He then said, maybe another time when we both have time. He is off work on Wednesday, I work for myself so can arrange things around my work. Anyways, after that message, he stopped communication. Not sure if he blocked me on WhatsApp.

I did not send another message. I went to the site where we met to block him, sure enough, he was online. I blocked him there and on WhatsApp.

My question is - what did I miss? Was he arranging sex? I genuinely signed up to meet someone special for a relationship, not into hookups and casuals.

Sounds like a hook up but don’t blame yourself. Nothing in what you said bar the hotel room could have hinted at that. And even then, you were meeting half way so if he wanted to spend a night and not travel immediately that’s a perfectly legitimate reason to book one.
Next time you meet a guy try and arrange a FaceTime date or something. I just think it’s so much harder to spot people’s intentions over text or on the phone.

@JK, thank you so much

Yes the hotel room was for sex.

He was arranging sex. When he realised you weren't up for it he went back on the hunt. Please don't agree to meet randoms off the internet so far away, after just a couple of dodgy phone calls!

Sounds like he was on the lookout for a hook up but he wasn't getting the right noises from you that you were on the same page. He was probably talking to other women and when one looked more 'promising', he blocked you.

Did you arrange to meet halfway in this village? Why did the village then become a bad idea?

When he talked about booking a room I'd have seen that as a sign he thought we were both using it.

Does you OLD profile say what you are and are not looking for?

@Palavah, the village was his idea. He told me that he has never been there too. It's odd to meet a stranger in a place that you had never visited. My profile says that I am looking for a relationship.

@Twenty, @Katherine, he mentioned the "room" a few times. I just ignored it as I was not looking for a hookup with a stranger.

In future, don't just ignore talk about rooms or sex - simply say it's not for me, thanks - then block immediately.

He talked about booking a room . He was arranging a hook up . Soon as he got the vibe it wasn’t anything you were interested in he blocked and moved on .
He wanted to meet you in a place where he didn’t know anyone probably because he was married , and didn’t want to run the risk of being seen .
Dont feel bad , you missed nothing . OLDis full of deceptive , sex obsessed men (some women like it too ), better luck next time .

Yeah, totally agree with the others.

The fact your profile says you are looking for a relationship is irrelevant to some men.

This man is the equivalent to the guy who approaches you outside a pub at closing while you're waiting for a taxi and starts telling you you're the most beautiful woman he's ever seen and tries to go home with you!

The fact you ignored his mention of the room told him you weren't up for it so he blocked you and moved onto someone else who might have been more receptive.

There are usually clues in the first message. What did he say?

Why did you ignore the repeated mention of the room? Surely it set off warning bells for you?

It was your opportunity to say "hey, not looking for a hook-up - it says so on my profile" and you'd have been saved further blather.

Your thread title is 'what did I miss?'

There will have been signs. Likely in his early/initial messages but as Category12 asks, why did you ignore the repeated mention of the room?

If nothing else, that was what you missed.

He would not give me the time and talked about booking a "room"

Did you not ask him - "why do you need a room?".

Thank you all for your insight. The "room" was just out of context, to be honest, I only connected the dots after blocking him. The first message was about him and that he has a young son. According to him, he was separated from his son's mother.

I thought that the conversation was going well. He told me that he was renting a room away from the family home (his parents) because of work. We were only in contact for a week, as it's always recommended to meet early.

I should have asked that question @RoadworksAgain, it did not make any sense and I have been really busy working on a project. Well, I have blocked him now. He should have been honest from a start. Then again, I was once told we don't have the same hearts or intentions as other people. Lessons learned! Both mid-40s

According to him, he was separated from his son's mother.

This should have set off warning bells combined with wanting to book a room nowhere near where he actually lived.

Paula, is this you?

???