Would you end a friendship marriage?

[mellowgreenspring]

I got a bit stuck on the title as I did put "good" marriage but regonise that's not the case.

My situation is that we don't and can't have sex, it's been over 6 years and due to me having a condition that means I get severe cramps and pain.

So 6 years ago we had to make the call to not even try, over those years we did carry on with some intimacy, but now we are just like friends, separate bedrooms, we cuddle on the sofa, we don't kiss, no sexual contact and I have no desire for him in that way at all. He's expressed that he would love to resume our sex life as I've just had surgery that may mean a solution. But I think my brain has just switched off seeing him sexually.

What in earth do I do? We get on well, we've got future plans we have teenage DS I don't have any desire for other men but we can't exist in this sexless state forever, it's simply not fair on him to stop mid 40s and stay with me.

Do I have this conversation with him? I'm also sure my love for him has switched to a kind of love of a best friend not really a husband, we have a good life, but can it carry on?

Any advice anyone in a similar situation?

I think the question you have to ask yourself is how would you honestly feel if he went elsewhere for sex. This will be the deciding factor.

@Fatted some days I think I'd be happy for him, others I think I'd be really truly upset.

I feel if we end the marriage that's really non of my business.

I've suggested it to him before and said please go and find sex elsewhere as I'm not able too but he was pretty horrified I'd suggested it, but that was about 4 years ago, I've not said it again.

But I think it's because I've just had surgery that may of helped the painful situation that he's hopeful we will resume a sex life but for me I can't face that at all.