How many men who claim to be secret agents have you come across?

[twentytwentyvision]

It seems to be a common theme amongst con artists or those who are married and have an extra family somewhere.

I've now heard of 3 or 4 guys who have very confusing and suspicious back stories and explain everything away as they work for intelligence services and can't possibly answer any questions about their whereabouts or why they're not contactable for long periods of time.

I'm surprised to have heard of so many mysterious men claiming to be secret agents. I've seen it a few times here as well - where someone is worried about a friend or relative having got involved with a guy who claims to be a secret agent.

I was wondering how common it is - if anyone else has met a man who's claimed he's a spy - or if a friend/relative has got involved with someone like this. I think it's loosely linked to the works on an oil rig and is uncontactable story which I have also heard of!

[Claricethecat45]

Not completely relevant but I have heard of and come across - more men inclined to tell you thy are a Pilot - to impress - than a secret agent :)

[AgeLikeWine]

No, but I do know one of DP’s mates from university who ‘works for the government’. I don’t know exactly what he does but I know he can’t discuss it. He’s a super-bright techie, he works in London, not Cheltenham and he’s now pretty senior.

This guy joined up after university and a chap ‘from the government’ came up from London and visited DP at home to ask him loads of questions about his friend ; how long had they known one another, did he know his family, was he straight, did he have girlfriends, if so how many, did he drink, take drugs etc etc.

[TheMumblesofMumbledom]

I got the impression that spies and intelligence officers weren't allowed to say anything. Then if they find 'the one' they have to tell their bosses who then investigate 'the one' before they're allowed to disclose anything?

I have my suspicions about fil, even dh isn't entirely too sure what his df did prior to the job I know about that was to do with weapons.

[StCharlotte]

I've met two in bars both in ex-Soviet countries. We called them Brooke Bond and Basildon Bond.

I actually work with a James Bond although he's known as Jamie.

However. A family friend worked for MI6 and was fairly high up. I don't know why we were allowed to know but we did. He was based in Berlin and drove a Merc. Spent time with them in Provence and we went to visit a mountain village which had been a Maquis stronghold in WW2 which he told me as he swapped his German (still hated in that area) plates for British ones having decided against a set of French ones

I was preparing vegetables one day and he warned me to be careful with the knife as he'd seen some horrible knife injuries in his time. "I bet you have!" I replied, imagining hand to hand combat on the wrong side of the Berlin Wall. "Yeah, my dad was a butcher in Swindon."

[ProfessorPootle]

I had interviews for MI5 but changed my mind about it and didn’t end up working for them. I was allowed to tell my spouse but for everyone else was recommended to say I was applying for a job with the Ministry of Defence (current work etc).

[LupinsNotLilys]

One. Carried it on for 20+ years

[ProfessorPootle]

@Claricethecat45

Not completely relevant but I have heard of and come across - more men inclined to tell you thy are a Pilot - to impress - than a secret agent :)

My BIL is RAF, he has a lot of friends who are fighter pilots but they don’t generally tell women when they’re out anymore as none ever believe them!!

[Giggorata]

I think that the mother of a girl at DF's school was a possibly a secret agent. The girl was a boarder and she would spend holidays with us at home, often at very short notice.
I knew that her mother worked in a high up government office in London, went abroad frequently, and unlike the majority of single parents in the 60s, was clearly very well off ( think ponies and skiing, posh but understated clothes, car, luggage, etc).
I'm probably romancing out of nothing much, but she had an air about her...

[Comtesse]

No one claiming to be spies but have met “SAS” and “Foreign Legion” though. They must think women are dense or something. What loons!

[PegasusReturns]

Never done online dating so never experienced a man claiming to be a spy to impress me.

I have however met numerous real former spies having worked for a company that specialises in kidnap and hostage negotiations.

[Hangingover]

I dated someone who told me he worked in "intelligence" but wouldn't go into much more than that - expect "I might go off the radar at a moment's notice and not be in touch for weeks" Convenient

[SecretWitch]

I dated a man for a few months who told me he was in “logistics”. He was called away very often to deal with problems. I don’t know what he actually did for a living. His name was also very generic something like James Smith. He was gone so often our relationship (such as it was) just kind of faded away.

[draughtycatflap]

Not a spy or a gynaecologist or a pilot but an Australian Paco Rabbane model. Or so he said in his dodgy attempt at an accent.

But he was truly gorgeous and it was a one nighter so I didn’t care. Reader, I definitely came across him.

[contrary13]

My son (16) is adamant that my father must have been SAS at some stage during his career as a soldier - and he may well prove to be right, yet. I know he was a bodyguard to someone very high up in the Army (a lovely man whose own career led to some fascinating stories, but more importantly, who always spoke to the then-toddler me as though my thoughts were the most important ones, to him, in the room), and I know he served as close protection to the Princess Royal during her younger years, following the attempt to abduct her (he couldn't stand her, apparently), but I couldn't really tell you where he was stationed, at all, prior to my birth, with any certainty. If we ask him (which we perhaps shouldn't do), he changes the subject, or tells one of a few vague-in-detail, yet rambling anecdote that doesn't tell you anything. My son says that he's come across a knife that only SAS of his grandfather's era were issued with, in his shed, before, when asked to pass one tool or another, but... I don't know. Apparently, when my son asked about it... my father took it off him and changed the subject. When, later on, my son went to show it to me - it had vanished. So there's obviously some things my father wants to keep to himself - and, y'know, that's his right.

I know that I may never know. Or, if I do, it won't be until my father's passed. We only discovered that my biological grandfather (maternal) was ex-SAS, after he'd passed. Had spent my entire life genuinely believing that he was ex-Para, that he'd had a fling with my grandmother (cheating on his wife with whom he had small children, so soldier cheats are not a "new thing" at all), who believed it was "true love", but knowing that he was a kind man, who never raised his voice, or lost his temper (not like the man my grandmother eventually married), and who cried whenever he got emotional (he sobbed over both me as a newborn, and then, 20 years later, over my oldest). Coincidentally, my father is also a kind, tactile, loving grandfather, so there may be something in it. When my biological grandfather passed, and it came out, all four of his children were shocked. I don't remember being shocked; simply very proud. IF my father turns out to be ex-SAS, then I hope my children feel the same pride in him.

[DillonPanthersTexas]

I could tell you but I would have to kill you

[DianasLasso]

Not in a dating situation, but I knew a bloke who claimed to have been on a joint forces expedition to the Himalayas and had Osama Bin Laden as his porter! Funnily enough he changed the subject really quickly when I said I used to do a bit of mountaineering and would be really interested to hear about his climbing exploits

(For those who aren't climbers - any genuine climber, offered a chance to talk about their passion, would have given you a 4 hour long account of their adventures, one ice screw placement at a time...)

[tenlittlecygnets]

Nike. But I have a good bullshit detector.

[tenlittlecygnets]

Nike? None!

[Katinski]

I live in S.Brum and our area is positively crawling with ex-SAS blokes :)- so much so that when my new neighbour moved in and he started reeling off everything he had done, which included being in the SAS, I immediately thought of the Brenda from Bristol's comment when she was told we were having another election in 2017 "not ANOTHER one?"

[LadyRoughDiamond]

Sort of related, but I went to a wedding near Cheltenham a few years back. Bride and several guests all did "something boring in IT" and were very adept at dodging questions about specifics. B&G also requested that no photos be taken by guests and nothing be put on social media.

[AlexCabot]

It's such a specific lie isn't it, the ex SAS or secret service one and yet so many of them do it.

Do they really think that they're the first man in history to peddle this bullshit so will definitely get away with it?

I'm trying to think of a lie so prolific that women tell but I'm coming up empty. I've heard some whoppers from women over the years but there's always been some variety at least!

[Baws]

I know of someone who was but not as a spy, I think he was an electrician for them is something like that. He had a fake passport etc. He was very dull but inconspicuous so probably the type they want to recruit. I was once chatted up on a train by someone claiming to be a gynaecologist. He was reading a gynaecology textbook at the time! 😳😂 He gave me his business card and asked me to call him. I remember thinking at the time that he’d probably paid to have them made up! 😂 I don’t understand why that would possibly be appealing to women!

[AlexCabot]

Baws I suppose if you're in a country with expensive healthcare then cut price smear tests could be appealing!

[Happyspud]

I'm pretty sure if two people but even their families debate it and don't know for sure. Two other people I know are rumoured but no proof. All have interesting situations that could well be intelligence services.

[dodobookends]

@SecretWitch

I dated a man for a few months who told me he was in “logistics”. He was called away very often to deal with problems. I don’t know what he actually did for a living. His name was also very generic something like James Smith. He was gone so often our relationship (such as it was) just kind of faded away.

Logistics?

Lorry driver more like.