How many men who claim to be secret agents have you come across?

[twentytwentyvision]

It seems to be a common theme amongst con artists or those who are married and have an extra family somewhere.

I've now heard of 3 or 4 guys who have very confusing and suspicious back stories and explain everything away as they work for intelligence services and can't possibly answer any questions about their whereabouts or why they're not contactable for long periods of time.

I'm surprised to have heard of so many mysterious men claiming to be secret agents. I've seen it a few times here as well - where someone is worried about a friend or relative having got involved with a guy who claims to be a secret agent.

I was wondering how common it is - if anyone else has met a man who's claimed he's a spy - or if a friend/relative has got involved with someone like this. I think it's loosely linked to the works on an oil rig and is uncontactable story which I have also heard of!

[OldChinaJug]

One.

I dated him 27 years ago so long before the internet and online dating.

He wasn't a conman, just a bit deluded...

[SandyY2K]

I can’t believe the number of women who fall for it tbh. Its an excuse to disappear at short notice and be out of contact with you.

[ALittleBitConfused1]

I've never met one and I find it hard to believe anyone would fall for this shit. I mean dont get me wrong, I've fallen for some right twats in my time but surely if theyre telling you they're a secret agent they arent a secret agent, the clue is kind of in the name right?

[Mintjulia]

I met a man on holiday who (when asked) admitted being Royalty protection squad. I didn’t believe him.

It turned out to be true

[Dollywilde]

Many years ago my housemate (21, final year of uni) slept with a guy she met at a party because he was ‘in the RAF and flying out tomorrow’ She was crestfallen when we all told her that was 99.9% likely to be a line, she was an incredibly smart woman in all other ways but clueless with guys.

I suspect one of my friend’s boyfriends actually has a job that’s much more closely related to the security services than they let on, but I have a lot of civil service friends based in MoD/Home Office/Foreign Office and his is the most boring job out of all of them all. Would never dream of asking them though.

[WeFoundAHat]

Zero. And presumably anybody who was wouldn't be telling everyone about it. 🙄😆

[AmICrazyorWhat2]

I do, but I can’t say more or they might have to shoot me.🤣

[HerRoyalNotness]

One. He kicked off big style when the IT manager accessed his computer when he didn’t lock it. He was a bit of a sociopath and I hope I never cross his path again

[HerRoyalNotness]

To clarify he was an ex colleague. He used to keep notes of every conversation and meeting and correct you if you contradicted yourself, based on his notes. Years and years of notebooks.

The computer thing was he said he’d be in deep shit that someone had accessed his computer ‘they’d know’. Well lock it then, per policy, dickhead.

[nasiisthebest]

One who dated a friend of mine when we were teens and he was in his twenties. He was quick to tell his job to us, a bunch of teenagers. If he was a spy then there wasn't much work since he was always home. Doesn't pay well either since he was poor as a church mouse. It was almost as if he was unemployed and living on benefits....

[AndNoneForGretchenWieners]

Real spooks claim they are just bog standard civil servants. Anyone openly saying they are a spy is a liar.

[genteelwoman]

Why tell a girlfriend who you are not committed to, who then has the power to blow your cover and entire life if you do her wrong and she wants revenge?

I'm sure one would only find out once in a committed relationship and probably not even for a few years

[eurochick]

None in a romantically involved way.

I did find out through friends that an acquaintance of mine who is ex Army and went into the "Foreign Office" was posted to some very interesting places such as Yemen and at one point was involved in paying ransoms to Somali pirates so I can guess what sort of "Foreign Office" job he had. And I know a few people who were "approached" when they were at Oxbridge but none pursued it.

[popcornlover]

None, but then I don’t suffer fools.

[longtimecomin]

One, I dated him for 4 years. He said they were sending him for police training first. Turns out that actually, he was a policeman and def not a secret agent. Finished him when I realised the £1k per month contribution towards mortgage and bills actually covered ALL of the mortgage and bills so he had been a reverse cocklodger. Twat

[SeaState3]

I’ve met 3 people who’ve said that people in their family were -

1. Someone’s Dad who worked at GCHQ in some electrical engineering capacity
   
2. Someone’s ex husband (she was ver ver posh) who was an important parachute officer (SAS)
   
3. Someone with a retired ex-forces Dad, who still got called out to go on missions at short notice (this one I didn’t believe)

[SeaState3]

The GCHQ Dad had some interesting postings but I’m leaving it at that!

[OldChinaJug]

I dated him 27 years ago so long before the internet and online dating.

Feel like I ought to clarify. I was 18 at the time, he was 21. I didn't believe it for a second. I wasn't dating him seriously and I ws going off to university. I was just slightly amused and bemused by it and then dumped him. I had no idea at the time that this was 'a thing'.

I don't understand how/why women fall for it either. It's a nonsense!

But then, I don't understand how so many women believe the waiter half their age, who they met on holiday, has fallen for them either...

[BlueSwathesChoose]

two. One I dated and he used it as an excuse to keep me dangling, manipulate my behaviour etc. was a total lie.

Second one is in our circle of friends. I assume bollocks because he referred to it in his own wedding speech.

[Blanketyblanket]

My brother does actually work in ‘intelligence’, I don’t know what he does exactly but he assured me it’s not very glamorous or exciting. According to him the only people who are really undercover will say they work for either the British Council or the Patents Office 🤷‍♀️

[Rebelwithallthecause]

My cousins partner is ex GCHQ

But doesn’t do it anymore and can’t really talk about what he did when he did work there

[IsAnybodyListening]

Zero.

If you work for MI5 you are actually allowed to tell ONE person about your real job, which is normally your spouse. Everyone else you meet, and those in your family such as parents, children, siblings are told your cover job. Absolutely no one should know your true job, or where you are based. This lasts for life.

For example, lets imagine your Mum is working for MI5 her entire adult life. Yourself, and everyone she has ever met believes she works in 'insurance'. Conversation comes up around the dinner table about something in the news, that unbeknown to you, your DM has been working on for years. If she tells you, she is sacked and possibly prosecuted.

If ANYONE claims to work for MI5. They don't. You can not advertise the fact, huge security risk.

[CeliaCanth]

My ex was recruited by MI5 in his late 20s. Told everyone he was a civil servant and if really pushed was in the Ministry of Defence. He seemed to enjoy the job, not that he told me anything except stuff like what he had had for lunch, but I never got the impression there was much in the way of drama.

[JacobReesMogadishu]

I know someone who I suspect might be but he’s never said he is.

He works troubleshooting issues on oil rigs and power stations. Travels the world, often at short notice and is gone for weeks, sometimes a couple of months. Middle East, Far East, America, Europe. He has two different passports. Is hard to get hold of when he’s away.

[Brot64]

Zero.

Surely a Secret Agent wouldn't tell anyone that they are one, at least not when in service. I watch a fair amount of True Crime and you are right OP, going by them, lots of "secret agents" who disclose this tend to be con artists.