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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Stop me from leaving!

35 replies

bonkerz · 03/10/2007 14:36

I have had enough of DH!
Things been building for months and he left 3 months ago but came back. We have been supposedly trying again but its really not working. We cannot afford realte as DH earns too much and I am not sure i see a way forward. Both of us at fault im sure BUT we are both pig headed and stubborn and cannot seem to talk without him turning everything around and then we either have huge fight or complete silence. Last night i tried to tell him i feel very unloved and insignificant right now and he basicvally threw it all back at me...hes tired... hes working hard...im a nag....i never do anything for him etc etc etc

today is his day off and i mentioned last night about going to do freezer shop today. He went to town and i said i would ring him after i had finished at a group i run. He didnt take his phone! Obviously plan now all ruined so i told him we could go after getting DS from school, just let DD go downstairs cos thought DH was there and i heard alot of crashing. He has gone off in car with no warning and left me here. Hes not taken his phone. If he has gone freezer shopping i know we will end up with microwave meals and what HE likes not the food i need for kids!

Wedding anniversary tomorrow and feel like just leaving tonight! I have had enough am on the verge of breaking down and i know if i say ANYTHING he will scream and shout at me.
I cannot take this anymore.

OP posts:

PollyLogos · 04/10/2007 13:22

From what i have read on mn you shouldn't leave the family home, I think it's irrelevant whose name the house is in (as you are married) You really should get some legal advice before you make any moves at all.

Sounds like you are having a horrible time at the moment but even so don't act rashly.

dustystar · 04/10/2007 16:53

Oh bonkerz {{{hugs}}}

I think if that's his attitude you need to get some legal advice about what to do next. See if you can make an appointment at your local Citizens Advice office.

Dior · 04/10/2007 16:55

Message withdrawn

Original poster

bonkerz · 05/10/2007 07:50

POLLY: i know the best thing would be for me to stay and DH to go BUT he has been paying for this house for 12 years now! We have only been together 5. Even if i stayed i couldnt pay mortgage etc so we would end up losing the house which seems stupid to me! Atlest if i left DH could keep the house and the children will have something IYSWIM.
Well our anniversary night was much as expected. DH came home and sadi we were going to pub. We dropped kids at MIL and went for meal. Awkward and very cautious. I told him i had looked at rental but needed about £1200 just to secure property. He changed subjust sharpish. Asked him if he would reconsider relate or councilling if i could arrange it and he shrugged his shoulders. Dont know what to do. Am tired out.

OP posts:

BandofMutantMonsters · 05/10/2007 07:59

Bonkerz, I am also in leicestershire, so if you need anyone to have your lo while you do some stuff, then I will be willing to help out.
Do you drive???
[email protected] email me or I am on MSN if you like and see if I am close to you.

BandofMutantMonsters · 05/10/2007 08:02

Sounds like he's realised you're serious about it and is now wondering what to do.

Original poster

bonkerz · 05/10/2007 08:30

maybe Band! I am serious about leaving unless we can agree to talk properly!

OP posts:

BandofMutantMonsters · 11/10/2007 17:42

Any news Bonkerz??

Original poster

bonkerz · 11/10/2007 21:12

well im still here. DH has been away for a few nights with work. Not really had a chance to talk and im off tomorrow for a long weekend with kids to my sisters. Dh is away 3 nights next week too so maybe some time apart will be good and we can adjust things and talk over the phone as it seems to be easier tot talk that way at the minute.

OP posts:

Cosmo74 · 11/10/2007 22:35

Have you considered writing him a letter - of he won't talk - you could leave it to read wen you are away and maybe with you not there he will read it and maybe think about things - also ask him if he cannot talk about it to write back to you - he may find that easier and it may help you start talking - not that I am one for giving advice - we are waiting for an appointment with relate - btw ours cost £35 and they never asked us anything about salaries etc..? is it different in each location? hope you get something sorted.

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