I’m so fed up and I need to know whether I’m being silly. My partner is the bread winner in our house. I do have a decent job that I work full time at but he’s the breadwinner. The problem that I have is that although we’ve been together for over a decade, have a mortgage and two children between us, I find him to think incredibly selfishly. An example of this is- the other morning, there was a fan on in my room whilst I was in bed. He started work in his office and removed the fan. We have two fans. I asked him why he couldn’t just use the other fan and his reply was- “well they are both mine because I bought them.”
He’s been happy to remind me in the past that he earns more than me and has said that he works really hard to provide our life. I am genuinely confused as to whether I should feel upset. I am a professional woman and am very independent. In a row the other week he told me that I’m “only happy when he’s paying for things for me.” He doesn’t buy me anything- clothes etc. I pay for everything of my own. I even buy myself flowers because he won’t (which is fine). The one thing that he contributes towards is the difference in bill contribution. We make it so that we have the same amount of disposable income each a month. He likes to constantly remind me of this- that he pays out more towards the bills than me. Im so drained by it all. I feel like my life is spent on egg shells.