Keep me strong Mumsnet, the time has come

[DaffodilsAndDandelions]

My relationship ended last night but I haven't officially told my STBEx. We have had problems for a long time and I've been wanting to leave for quite a while. I start uni in September and will be financially independent thanks to student loans.
Last night we argued, I goaded him a bit too much though nothing I said was untrue or in my eyes unjustified. Just badly timed and repeated too often. He ripped the stair gate off the wall, terrified our toddler who I had taken upstairs then wrestled said toddler who was screaming and shaking out of my arms so he could give him a cuddle.
Needless to say, I am leaving sooner than anticipated and ducks are not yet all in a row! Keep me strong Mumsnet. This is going to be hard

You can do this! You're very brave and strong and leaving him is the only thing to do. Sending you positive thoughts. Please update how you get on

You can do it! Sending strength OP!

Good luck OP and well done

Hopefully you have someone who can help in real life too. Yòu're doing the right thing, stay strong

Need to get finances in order. Went to the job centre just now and got sent away with a phone number that seems to be permanently busy! I accidentally told my MIL this morning as she asked what was wrong. She looks after the boys on a Friday. I also have 1 really good friend I can tell. Unfortunately a group of us are supposed to be going camping tonight and my DSS is really excited. Don't want to disappoint him so is it best to pretend nothing is wrong until after the weekend?

Goodluck OP, sending you a lot of strength. You're doing the right thing and what's best for you and your little one x

You can do this! Threw my ex out on Monday - never felt better! Child was diagnosed with cancer and he was an absolute shit with me demanding that I take out a loan on my house for him. I exploded on Monday and now I feel brilliant!

Worth talking to Women's Aid and Shelter for help getting yourself sorted. Good luck and stay safe, it sounds as though he could escalate and the time when you are about to leave is the most dangerous.

Good luck OP👍 No child should be terrified in their own home 😥

Your MIL won’t tell him will she? Best of luck.

Crikey op, how scary for you and your toddler. Good luck, we have your back 💪.

@Pixikitten0123

You can do this! Threw my ex out on Monday - never felt better! Child was diagnosed with cancer and he was an absolute shit with me demanding that I take out a loan on my house for him. I exploded on Monday and now I feel brilliant!

Fuck, well done for being so brave. I really hope little one is doing OK

OP - you're doing the right thing. If you falter, remember that he scared your toddler and that you are being the best mum you can be by keeping him out of that environment.

You sound very brave , and you are doing the right thing . You can’t have a man like that around a toddler , you’d never feel safe .
Is there anyone who can help you out till next month . Family , friends ?
It will be hard but you can do this x

Listen, you will not want to do this but you should absolutely report the incident to the police.

If it is on record that he has behaved abusively in front of your child, and towards your child (pulling a frightened child who has just witnessed him being violent out of your arms to 'cuddle' him IS abusive) - then you will have a LOT more control and cards in your hand when it comes to deciding child contact arrangements.

Hopefully your mil won't tell him. You're very brave well done.