Should I follow him? Or would that be crazy

[Ilovechoccake]

My last thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3968267-Was-he-cheating?pg=2 explains everything. He left for a bit but has came back saying nothing happened, he’s sorry for the lack of attention etc and I thought it was going ok until he went out with his friend to the ‘pub’ on Saturday, when he got about (around 2:30am) I saw some messages on his phone to friend he was supposed to be out with. He’d sent him 5 voice notes at around 1am-1.30 which I thought was strange considering he was supposed to be with him. I didn’t get chance to listen as he came back in the room. Around 9ish in the morning his friend left him a voicemail which my OH deleted along with the voice notes. Also his friend posted the same night he was meant to be with OH on Instagram he was driving a car (I had no idea he drove) with someone else in the car and no mention on OH. Last night I found that back in feb he had downloaded on his old phone an app called ‘secret photo/video’ and one disguised as a calculator that was called ‘secret apps’. I’ve had his mum messaging me saying my suspicion and paranoia are splitting our family up. I need proof Aibu to follow him on his next night out?

Also left his charger at his ‘friends’ that he hasn’t attempted to get back yet

Just read both posts. I think if you feel you need to follow him then there is no point continuing the relationship. Why is his mum involved? Eye roll!

I can't make much sense of your new post.

It does seem dodgy to delete messages, it's not normal to do that.
Also when you don't trust someone, you constantly look for clues which may or may not be something to worry about.
When a relationship has got this bad I'm afraid there's no going back, I've been there and it doesn't get any easier sorry.
Eventually one of you will call time on it as it's not a way to live your life.

Exactly how are you proposing to follow him? Macintosh and dark glasses, false beard?

You'll be spotted and it'll be another weapon in the bitches be crazy narrative he's spinning about you.

If you don't trust him to this extent, it's fucked. It doesn't matter if you can't prove you're right, it's fucked.

Go through his phone and look for calls to numbers that seem sketchy. Put the number in your phone and see what photo pops up in whatsapp.

If you're at this point OP then it's over anyway. You don't need proof to give permission to leave him.

@gamerchick

If you're at this point OP then it's over anyway. You don't need proof to give permission to leave him.

This. You're going to make yourself ill with this level of anxiety, so whether you're right or not you need to split IMO. This is so unhealthy and it is taking up loads of your headspace

This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.

Your MIL needs to butt out, don't worry about her.

I've been in your situation, I eventually saw the light and ended it. With hindsight I can't believe I stayed for as long as I did! Sooo much better out of it.

You can't go on thinking nothing's wrong existing like this. It's no way to have a healthy relationship.

Best of luck. I hope you can be brave and make the right decision for you x