Has anyone just left it all behind and been ok?

[WatchMeRun]

Partner has just told me that everything bad in our relationship is my fault and he has nothing to do with it. It's all me. Considering walking away now (trust me I have tried to make it work countless times) and just taking the bare minimum that I need for me and baby DC. I will sort out what is vital and take that. If he chucks the rest I should be ok. Financially I'll be ok long term less so short term. My interest in the house is protected correctly and I'll leave it behind until a time in the future I can manage to sort it out.

Has anyone done this and been ok? I didn't want it to get to this but I feel like I'm losing the last pieces of me every day I stay.

Yes I've seen LOADS of women do exactly this and they have all been ok. Like you say, it's a bit strange at first, but the happiness and peace soon prevail. Your own place, pretty and clean, no him due back, nice evening routine, the end of all the emotional unease. X

I would walk away but I would take things with me. You'll have to work hard to replace them. Is it possible to identify what's yours and what's his?

Yes. I bundled everything I could into a couple of cars and left my abusive ex. No kids involved, though, which made it simpler. I'd already removed some essentials to a safe place.

why aren't you asking him to leave?
I would be loathe to think about sorting the house afterwards....
What if stops paying mortgage/ moves new girlfriend in..
Aas you have dc and house would suggest legal advice first ... there's a ducks in a row list on mnet which covers most things-....do not disadvantage your and dc future unless you have to...

Pretty much everything is fine but it is just possessions. I will be sad to leave them behind but feeling at peace is more important. I've spent years never being good enough and I feel I'm actually going insane. I've turned into someone I don't like and my baby helps me remember my old self and they deserve more.

Good for you love x any folk who might assist you in your exit? Could take more?

But first, is there anything in the post above about your legal rights to the house?

If you find out you ought to stay....
Let him know the relationship is OVER
Immediately repair to a spare room and put lock on it.
Live separate lives.
Ignore everything he says.
Try to be out or busy when hes in.
Weekends at your mums?
No shared cooking or washing.
Arrange for him to have baby two nights a week and go out, if only in car with book.

I'll be following your story xxx

Yes. Many years ago now...I was 34 and had been with him since I was 17. Drink and drugs (his) ended the relationship. I had meticulously planned my exit to coincide with him being on holiday...everything was packed and sat by the door ready to go. He arrived home 2 days early...still don't know why. I literally passed him on the flat stairwell and out into my car with nothing but the clothes I was wearing.

Yep but I didn't have kids.
I got some money from the house but lost out financially overall but I didn't care.

I have a completely new life now in a different area and I feel like I'm living the life I'm supposed to be living.

I meant the furniture etc is mine, not fine.

I have spoken to someone already re the house. I'd prefer to leave. He never listens to me saying I'm not happy etc. He won't ever go. So I'm going to have to.

You might not be able to see it now but you have great perspective. You're thinking so many steps ahead. That's why you're worried. But that's also why you're going to be okay. You'll plan for what can go wrong before it happens, so you'll be prepared for it. It will still be scary I have no doubt.

Years ago, I put everything I could fit into my old banger of a car and left my abusive ex, I tried to drive back home to London from Lancashire. My car broke down at the first services. But I had Green Flag... they took my car home for me! I still remember the recovery man saying my car was now essentially a giant suitcase. Once I got it to my mums I had it scrapped. I left my art supplies in Lancashire. I didn't think I'd ever do art again, because I didn't even recognise myself. But since then I've replaced them all and then some . I didn't have children then but I have two now. I think it still would have worked out okay with my DC. Perhaps even better, who knows. Just definitely not worse.

Are you in danger at all right now? That's important to check. I know you're feeling like absolute rubbish, but if you're in danger please call the police or women's aid xx

You can definitely do this but it would be better for you if you could take more things?

Does he work? Have a regular night at at mates?

Do you know where you would go?

I left, but not until I knew the finances were water tight. I didn't have a bed, carpets or cooker for over 6 months, but the feeling of freedom was amazing so I didn't care.
Friends donated bits & pieces & I bought the kids furniture from charity warehouses & chalk painted it. You can replace stuff, but you need your happiness/sanity.
Good luck with everything

I would go to my parents. They are fine for me too. I just need a bed for baby DC that's why I can't go immediately. I'm not in danger I'm just done. I can cover the whole house with savings so that isn't an issue if he stopped paying. I'd get it into my bank account and just settle it each month. It would be gutting to lose the money but I'd rather carve a different life now.

Most women who walk away go through a difficult period at first, just because they're not used to the freedom. Once you're used to it, you wouldn't have it any other way.