Hi, have posted on here before under a previous name . I was agonising about leaving my husband and at the end of June I managed to get the strength to ask him to leave. Since then, he spent a month at his parents in another part of the U.K. and is now staying at an air bnb in our city this month. So we have been physically separated for coming up to 2 months and sporadic contact, but I was too angry for the first couple of weeks to talk.
I have a dd (not his) and he’s been in her life since she was small. She was aware of us arguing a lot and it was a shit atmosphere by the end but she still asks when he is coming back. He is also now asking me if I want to formalise our separation/start divorce proceedings. I’ve been in a weird place since he left; in some respects very withdrawn and anxious, in others I’ve felt free and more like “myself” than I have for years- I’ve started being creative again which I hadn’t really since I met him! Without all our rows and bitterness it’s just been calmer. But I won’t say it hasn’t been hard especially as I’m working FT from home soon and looking after dd now it’s summer (with as much help from my mum and friends as possible). I’m financially secure and will be able to afford to stay in our rental flat fine- my job is safe (as far as anyone can be sure, at least til next year) and I’m employable. I guess I have a real fear of starting over again as a single parent- I’m 32. To be honest I’m not sure I want any more kids and I have good friends, family, career and hobbies, but H is a good earner and that gave me some sense of security I suppose (except when he was threatening divorce whenever we rowed!! 
) Also I felt more “acceptable” with a partner, being a single mum is hard. Before anyone says anything that’s not the reasons why I married H, I loved him so much. There was really bad EA towards the end from him and I believed it was affecting dd which is why I asked him to leave. I think the old feelings kept me going for a long time but in the end there were none left.
So the tl;dr - how do you know for sure you should divorce? How do you get over the fear? How do you make this ok for kids? Please share any advice.
Thankyou.